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    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    I have traveled 12 states in 4 weeks and here are a few things that I have learned: 1) Deoderant is your friend. Use it. ;) 2) Despite being in a relationship with this one person for over 3 years...Im still learning new things everyday. (Plus the snoring....dear God the snoring..) 3)Staying in hotels may sound fun but each one is like a gift. Ya never know what you're gonna get and truly makes you appreciate home. 4) Watch where you step. Rolling your ankle in front of a bunch of people rreeeallly sucks. 5) I have been up in the mountains, hiked in canyons, sat behind waterfalls, and got burnt in the Desert. I've seen storms filled with lightening and wind storms and watched the sunrise over cracked ground. And despite this all....I really really miss my dog. Just a few muddled thoughts :)

    ...Created 2017-08-02 18:17:00

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    10 years ago I first said hello to a bunch of great people.

    I miss you guys.

    ...Created 2016-03-21 22:39:20

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    The biggest lie we seem to tell ourselves is that we wished that one moment in life or even your relationship would last forever. We hope and strain and struggle to maintain that falsehood hoping it all remains as it is in the here and now. We wish that person in our heart would love us the same as they did from the first moment they said those words and meant them. We wish our friends would share a nursing home when we are to old to walk and we would live through our memories. Yet the impossible nature of this wish isnt even seen to be a horrible possibility. But it is. Love grows stale when there is no refresh button pressed. Our hearts for each other grow smaller yet the memories are pumped into our viens each thought bringing another piece of your heart through your arties filling your atrium and ventricles with poision of a long ago obsession. Change comes. Whether for the best or worst. Yet we fight and struggle and strain at the chains that hold us in our mortal bodies while our souls scream in pain at the lost memories. Your eyes bleed tears at the hand that once held yours so perfectly for now are holding someone elses. Lifes not a movie. Bad guys dont always lose marriages rarely last and friends move on. But we have hope. Our most vulnerable neck exposed horribly insecure draining hopelessly hopeful hope. Ive found my hope. And i know it will change. Ill bear the scars of the past and the posioned blood will run in a fast current through my body causing me to second guess myself. But i will always have hope that someday ill be cured. I miss and love my past friends. A sea filled with change will always sweep me under. So for now i guess ill just have to learn how to swim.

    ...Created 2016-01-28 00:24:58

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    Another sunrise 🌄 Oh happy day :)

    ...Created 2015-07-06 05:46:36

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual


    ...Created 2015-06-21 20:25:40

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: Sigh...

    I wish...

    I wish for yesterday, only with the knowledge I carry today.

    I wish to hold tight to the times we smiled and laughed together.

    I wish I could say what should be spoken, but we both understand it would only make things worse.

    So I'll sit here at 3 a.m. and only think of how I just wish to bring it all back with a kiss.

    ...Created 2015-02-15 02:19:18

    dotsJournal: Midnight thoughdots
    Mood: Rant

    There are too many thoughts that shift inside my head. Ups and downs yet no rest in between. I dont understand how when one has everything they seem to hold nothing. I cant truly think or speak these things but it doeant really matter. Who could decipher the cryptic words of nonsense that spiral out of control, no hope of ever going parallel with the rest of the world. I feel too much to the point my seams wish to burst! Yet at the time between the mornings, when I hear the heavy tread of boots on echoing wood I grow peaceful. Love undoubtedly has saved my life. Through cancer and stress it sometimes doesnt seem real. Through endless hours of (barely) paid misery I find my heart skipping beats between the breath and soft bristling lips. I wish my head would catch up to my heart. The man whos name is whispered inside my cavernous soul takes away so much pain yet I lay each night with gore and terror and anguished thoughts, but still he comes to me each and every day. His arms enfold me, keeping me from the world. I wish I wish I wish, God how I wish I could feel like I deserve what he offers to me without price, a treasure so precious that we all spend our time on our aching knees while our bones break and shatter at their feet for a moment, a twisted sense of security that love seems to bring on downy wings of laughter and small kisses and fingers that learn the trails and folds and mountain peaks of our skin, each ticklish spot yet another path explored each sigh yet another place unconquered. I sigh, and weep, and dream, and think too much too deep into shallow pools of unimportant things. And still I wake to fingers entangled each a ring around our souls as we hold and share and reveal in our complete lust and instanity of love.

    ...Created 2015-02-05 23:50:59

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: Licking the utter

    Let's see how much trouble we can get to, and reward ourselves with a bubble bath afterwards :D

    ...Created 2014-08-03 00:04:28

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: Frustrated

    Seeing through someone eldes eyes seems to make the world to appear tilted. Strange.

    ...Created 2014-08-01 15:15:08

    dotsJournal: dots
    Mood: The Usual

    Never make your home in a place. Make a home for yourself inside your own head. You'll find what you need to furnish it - memory, friends you can trust, love of learning, and other such things. That way it will go with you wherever you journey.

    Tad Williams

    ...Created 2014-06-23 09:58:54

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Giving written by jjd
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Bond written by saartha
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer written by layDsayD
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore




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    January 10 07
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