Journal: yup -------------------------------------------Mood: Depressed "Breathe (2 AM)" 2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake, "Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?, I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season" Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes Like they have any right at all to criticize, Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason 'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table No one can find the rewind button, girl. So cradle your head in your hands And breathe... just breathe, Oh breathe, just breathe May he turn 21 on the base at Fort Bliss "Just a Day", he said down to the flask in his fist, "Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year." Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while, But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles, Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it. Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable, And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table. No one can find the rewind button, boys, So cradle your head in your hands, And breathe... just breathe, Oh breathe, just breathe There's a light at each end of this tunnel, You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again If you only try turning around. 2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me, Threatening the life it belongs to And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud And I know that you'll use them, however you want to But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable, And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table No one can find the rewind button now Sing it if you understand. and breathe, just breathe woah breathe, just breathe, Oh breathe, just breathe, Oh breathe, just breathe. ...Created 2006-04-23 23:21:55

Journal: Vacation -------------------------------------------Mood: Straightening things out... Hey guys....I am going to be out of town for two or three days before I have to go back to work. Don't worry. I am coming back this time. Thank you all for the warm welcome back. I have missed you guys. I just had a lot of shit to get straight in my head ya know. See you soon. Peace love and m&m's Joye ...Created 2005-07-28 18:23:54

Journal: STOOOOKED -------------------------------------------Mood: Guess what!? uPDATE: I GOT THE JOB...I START MONDAY Mood: Guess what!? Hi guys. You remember that poem I wrote a while back called "Hidden Treasure" about the autistic boy that I had been working with occasionally? Well, I was working with the class again today and they have asked me to come on full time as his personal aide. I wont know for sure until I meet the teacher tomorrow and get evaluated, but its like a HUGE honor to be asked to do something like that. I am ecstatic. So yeah, things are looking up. YAY ME!!!!! ...Created 2005-03-31 16:52:48

Journal: SOOO STOKED -------------------------------------------Mood: Guess what!? Hi guys. You remember that poem I wrote a while back called "Hidden Treasure" about the autistic boy that I had been working with occasionally? Well, I was working with the class again today and they have asked me to come on full time as his personal aide. I wont know for sure until I meet the teacher tomorrow and get evaluated, but its like a HUGE honor to be asked to do something like that. I am ecstatic. So yeah, things are looking up. YAY ME!!!!! ...Created 2005-03-30 18:25:18

Journal: Remembering -------------------------------------------Mood: DANG IT! Kind of in a nostalgic mood today. It goes along with my new post. So I dug out my old matchbox 20 cd and played a song that was very important to me in that former life of mine. ****************************************************** Hang she grabs her magazines she packs her things and she goes she leaves the pictures hanging on the wall, she burns all her notes amd she knows, she’s been here too few years to feel this old he smokes his cigarette, he stays outside ‘till it’s gone if anybody ever had a heart, he wouldn’t be alone he knows, she’s been here too few years, to be gone and we always say, it would be good to go away, someday but if there’s nothing there to make things change if it’s the same for you I’ll just hang the trouble understand, is she got reasons he don’t funny how he couldn’t see at all, ‘til she grabbed up her coat and she goes, she’s been here too few years to take it all in stride but still it’s much too long, to let hurt go (you let her go) and we always say, it would be good to go away, someday but if there’s nothing there to make things change if it’s the same for you I’ll just hang the same for you I’ll always hang well I always say, it would be good to go away but if things don’t work out like we think and there’s nothing there to ease this ache but if there’s nothing there to make things change if it’s the same for you, I’ll just hang -Matchbox20- 1996 ...Created 2005-03-28 12:35:23

Journal: DON'T ASK -------------------------------------------Mood: The Usual Check out my new post and match it up. Should be pretty self explainatory. Someday, Somehow How the hell did we wind up like this Why weren't we able To see the signs that we missed And try to turn the tables I wish you'd unclench your fists And unpack your suitcase Lately there's been too much of this Dont think its too late Nothin's wrong just as long as you know that someday I will Someday, somehow gonna make it allright but not right now I know you're wondering when (You're the only one who knows that) Someday, somehow gonna make it allright but not right now I know you're wondering when Well i hoped that since we're here anyway We could end up saying Things we've always needed to say So we could end up stringing Now the story's played out like this Just like a paperback novel Lets rewrite an ending that fits Instead of a hollywood horror Nothin's wrong just as long as you know that someday I will Someday, somehow gonna make it allright but not right now I know you're wondering when (You're the only one who knows that) Someday, somehow gonna make it allright but not right now I know you're wondering when You're the only one who knows that Now the story's played out like this Just like a paperback novel Lets rewrite an ending that fits Instead of a hollywood horror Nothin's wrong just as long as you know that someday I will Someday, somehow gonna make it allright but not right now I know you're wondering when (You're the only one who knows that) Someday, somehow gonna make it allright but not right now I know you're wondering when (You're the only one who knows that) I know you're wondering when (You're the only one who knows that ) I know you're wondering when -Nickelback- ...Created 2005-03-25 07:17:16

Journal: One 4 The Road -------------------------------------------Mood: Overwhelmed Okay, so if you have read my newest post and/or some of my recent comments, then you can probably tell I am having trouble dealing with all the messed up shit going on in the US right now. So, I guess this is kinda how I feel, and kinda why I write. THE CHANGE One hand Reaches out And pulls a lost soul from harm While a thousand more go unspoken for They say what good have you done By saving just this one It's like whispering a prayer In the fury of a storm And I hear them saying you'll never change things And no matter what you do it's still the same thing But it's not the world that I am changing I do this so this world will know That it will not change me This heart Still believes The love and mercy still exist While all the hatred rage and so many say That love is all but pointless in madness such as this It's like trying to stop a fire With the moisture from a kiss And I hear them saying you'll never change things And no matter what you do it's still the same thing But it's not the world that I am changing I do this so this world will know That it will not change me As long as one heart still holds on Then hope is never really gone I hear them saying you'll never change things And no matter what you do it's still the same thing But it's not the world that I am changing I do this so this world we know Never changes me What I do is so This world will know That it will not change me -Garth Brooks- ...Created 2005-03-24 08:02:00

Journal: Another One -------------------------------------------Mood: Sigh... So, I was watching Cold Case tonight, err listening to it from my computer room rather and I heard one of my old favorites and am not walking round singing it. This journal was a toss up between it and Turn The Page, which deadndreaming inadvertantly stuck in my head ;). Enjoy: Don't stop believing Just a small town girl, livin' in a lonely world She took the midnight train goin' anywhere... Just a city boy, born and raised in South Detroit He took the midnight train goin' anywhere... A singer in a smokey room, the smell of wine and cheap perfume For a smile they can share the night It goes on and on and on and on... Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard Their shadows searching in the night Streetlight people, living just to find emotion Hiding, somewhere in the night Working hard to get my fill, everybody wants a thrill Payin' anything to roll the dice, just one more time Some will win, some will lose Some were born to sing the blues Oh, the movie never ends It goes on and on and on and on (chorus) Don't stop believin' Hold on to the feelin' Streetlight people -Journey- ...Created 2005-03-20 20:42:24

Journal: Another One -------------------------------------------Mood: Thinking... I don't know why but now I seem to be stuck on this song so I hope it doesnt drill itself too far into anyone's brain ;) The Heart of The Matter I got the call today, I didn’t want to hear But I knew that it would come An old true friend of ours was talking on the phone She said you found someone And I thought of all the bad luck, And the struggles we went through And I lost me and you lost you What are these voices outside loves open door Make us throw of our contentment And beg for something more? I’m learning to live without you now But I miss you sometimes And the more I know, the less I understand All the things I thought I knew, I’m learning again I’ve been trying to get down To the heart of the matter But my will gets weak And my thoughts seem to scatter But I think its about forgiveness Forgiveness Even if, even if you don’t love me anymore These times are so uncertain There’s a yearning undefined ..... people filled with rage We all need a little tenderness How can love survive in such a graceless age? The trust and self-assurance that leads to happiness There the very things they kill, I guess Pride and competition Can not fill these empty arms And the work I put between us Doesn’t keep me warm I’m learning to live without you now But I miss you baby The more I know, the less I understand All the things I thought I figured out I have to learn again I’ve been trying to get down To the heart of the matter But everything changes And my friends seem to scatter But I think its about forgiveness Forgiveness Even if, even if you don’t love me anymore There are people in your life, who’ve come and gone They let you down and hurt your pride Better put it all behind you; life goes on You keep carrying that anger, It’ll eat you up inside I’ve been trying to get down To the heart of the matter But my will gets weak And my thoughts seem to scatter But I think its about forgiveness Forgiveness Even if, even if you don’t love me anymore I’ve been trying to get down To the heart of the matter Because the flesh will get weak And the ashes will scatter So I’m thinking about forgiveness Forgiveness Even if, even if you don’t love me anymore Written by Mike Campbell, Don Henley, and J.D. Souther ...Created 2005-03-18 13:02:11

Journal: Old Songs -------------------------------------------Mood: Head Aching I cant seem to get this song out of my head for the last few days. Some of you younger folk will probably wonder what the hell it is and who the hell she is. I think maybe I am stuck on this song because I just found out that the ex associated with it is single again. Amazing how an old song can hold onto a memory for so long. Can't Make You Love Me Turn down the lights; Turn down the bed. Turn down these voices Inside my head. Lay down with me; Tell me no lies. Just hold me close; Don't patronize. Don't patronize me. 'Cuz I can't make you love me If you don't. You can't make your heart feel Something it won't. Here in the dark In these final hours, I will lay down my heart And I'll feel the power; But you won't. No, you won't. 'Cuz I can't make you love me If you don't. I'll close my eyes, Then I won't see The love you don't feel When you're holding me. Morning will come, And I'll do what's right; Just give me till then To give up this fight. And I will give up this fight. -Bonnie Raitt- ...Created 2005-03-14 10:15:49

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