Journal: After a call -------------------------------------------Mood: Sigh... I have only always been on the other side of the game. They always break it off with me and find someone else. I don't know real relationships, never had one... How does it feel? More real? Safer? Worthwhile? Does it give you the right to feel warmer? I look back and see nothing but pointlessness, a void, a waste of my time, if my time is worth anything. Dispensible and distraught, forgiven, forgotten, forbidden... ...Created 2008-12-11 17:13:19

Journal: Panic! -------------------------------------------Mood: Crazy Panic syndrome. Is that what I have? Probably not, but I'm so exagerrative, I would never be able to tell the real extent of things. I finally get to relax and breathe from tests and seminars and work... and the cold and sinusitis hits me, and now, when I attempt to read other people's work with a critic's eyes... my heart start racing, I start loosing my air, like... OMG WHAT IF I'M BEING AN ABSOLUTE IDIOT, WHAT IF THEY HATE WHAT I'M SAYING, WHAT IF, WHAT IF... and then I decide to come back another day. I think there was a reason I left eliteskills a long time ago, but I can't quite remember or put my finger on it... Anyway, I gotta get off the computer to calm my nerves, haha! How strange of me. Maybe some hot chocolate. ...Created 2008-12-06 14:00:21

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