Ba Happy, But Be Safe.
Settings & Atmosphere
Dear Diary,
When is the last time you remember being happy? Was it yesterday? Last week? Or maybe just three seconds ago..?
Or can you vaguely remember the last time you have been happy?
Sadly, I know how you feel. My dad thinks he knows me inside and out. He thinks I'm such a happy girl...
One day I'll just tell him what I have told you. One day when either I'm dying, or he is.
The cuts would scare the fuck outta him, and the paranoia and voices in my head, <Is that skitsifrania? I'll look that up later...>
would make him so worried HE might be the one trying to find relief in cutting or worse, hanging onto the edge of the bridge as I did the other day...
You remember, right? Well, of course you do. You're a book. What more do you have to do but remember the stuff I write down?
I guess you can say I'm feeling better... My best friend since first grade says he likes me, Like-likes me... And liked me since third grade. I told him alot of what was going on and he promised to help me find the peices of the old, happy, REAL Rabecca and put her back together. If he could do that, I'd love him for the rest of my life.
On another note, my ex-boyfriend admitted to still loving me, and I don't know what to do with that...... I think I still love him too. Wow, is that pathetic or what?
My best friend maddy hates me again and is spreading nasty rumors again... Along with that big bitch, Shannon... And I haven't done one thing to either of them!
And when Beth broke up with James, get this, she said; "The only person who would ever love you is that Emo Bitch Rabecca." I'm like, what the fuck because What the fuck do I have to do with them breaking up? It's like; "Hey, I'm going to the pool. Oh and Rabecca is a bitch." It sucks sometimes to be the butt of all thier jokes.
Oh, god, my dad is calling me. He sounds pissed. Shit, I hope he doesn't hurt me again....
Help Me!
Rabecca Dai.
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Rabecca looked up at him innocently, slowly letting go of the steering wheel. She sighed loudly and looked down."You and I are already late to class... Can't we, uhh, do it another time?" She looked up at him hopefully. She knew he was probably going to say no, but anything was worth a try. She played with her keys that she hadn't even taken out of the ignition yet.
"Ahhh dont worry about it Rabecca." He said giving her a kiss on the cheek. He was normal and his teacher didnt give a crap when he came to class as long as he came. Dominic was just an average guy with average plans. But he knew one thing he loved Rabecca and would do anything for her. "Rabecca, we need to talk about those bruises." He said carefully as not to offend her or make her cry.Rabecca saw him eyeing the new bruise on her arm. She frowned and turned back to the street, paying attention only to the road. She knew that he knew, but she didn't want to bring it up herself. He knew, and if he wanted to talk about it he would bring it up. With a long sigh she pulled into the school parking lot as the late bell rang. They were both late for the third time this week, and it was wendsday. She grit her teeth and tried to smile again, failing miserably."I'm sorry i made you late again..." she said, both her hands still clutching the steering wheel tightly.
<<I have to go, have my own dad to deal with... I'll be on soon!>>
"Like i normally sleep Becca." He said as he gave a sigh. He saw another bruise on her arm. He knew her dad was an abusive drunk but he wanted to hear it from her. He one night when he went to her house to help her study heard and witnessed the entire fight where he hit her. Still he cared for Rabecca deeply he always had. It was just something that he needed to hear from her as well. He worried day and night about her, he worried if she was still alive and at school or if something happened to her. He swore to protect her but until she asked for his help he could do nothing to interfere with her home life.Rabecca sighed and put a smile on her face. She turned to him with this smile as he got into the car."How did you sleep?" she asked, playing her role as the happy girl. Her hair blew lightly in the small air allowed into the car through the window. She pulled at her skirt and then put both her hands back on the wheel, looking forward with that same smile plastered on her face.
He stood on his porch waiting for her. He worried about her. Rabecca was his favorite person and his best friend. He shifted a hand through his hair and then adjusted his sun glasses before putting out his cigarette and then walk to her car. He didnt have time to waste she was late as usual and he didnt have time to think about it.<<*Be. Opps. It's just one of those days.>>Rabecca looked in the mirror as she waited for her father to clam down. She knew that she looked alot like her dead mother, and that upsetted her father, to violent acts. With a sigh, Rabecca tried to cake enough make-up on her legs to make them appear unbruised. They ended up funky colored, but the black and blue marks were gone. She pulled on her shoes once she heard to satifying silence that told her that her father either left the house or had passed out. She pushed the hair from her face, put on her favorite pair of sunglassed and her heart necklace she recieved from her mother when she was seven, put on a brave face, and openned her door. Her father was no where to be seen as she sneeked out the front door and closed it behind her. She raced to her car and jumped in, taking off as fast as her old car would let her. She sighed and looked at the time. She would be late to pick up her friend, but he would live. Better to have a ride late then no ride at all. She stopped in front of his house and honked her horn. She knew him since first grade and still couldn't tell him about everything that happened to her. All he would do is worry...
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