AteMyBackpackName: . . Website:[ Education ] Days Away: 4850 Life Story: [ Ignore User ] Favorites: 0 Forum Posts: 32 Shoutbox Posts: 0 RP Posts: 0 Signup Date: 5464 D 14.97 Years 1.5 |
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Yay!
Mood: Guess what!?I got a new digital camera! An example of what brilliant photos it's been taking for me is in my display picture.
...Created 2008-01-05 12:33:01 [ View Past Journals ]
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| Reply:The Donkey Kisser
Well, I revised and updated this poem. Please recheck. Hope you still like it. Also, take a look the following poems titled: "The Code of Chivalry" "The Kung Fu Proverb" |
| | Posted on 2008-06-05 10:35:21 | by FireFly747 - [ Reply to This ] - |
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| Hi,
Thanks for reading 'Airports' and thanks even more for commenting on it. I have fixed the silly little mistakes, getting my to's and too's back to front. I can't believe I made such mistakes, I assure you English is my first language, but that doesn't mean it's first class. Thanks for the critique of the last lines. You're right about their origin, the emotion in them is real and is really what the poem is all about. But instead of clearing the or structuring it, I instead just jumped to the punchline. I often bore myself with my own ridiculous indulgence! Best wishes, Rob PS: sorry it's taken a while to thank you for your comment, I haven't logged on in for a few months. |
| | Posted on 2008-04-14 16:00:51 | by RR7059 - [ Reply to This ] - |
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| ahhh Sophie! I can't comment on your poems because you've been away for more than 5 days! hurry up and come back, I want to tell you what I think about "Quiet she was"
 Helen |
| | Posted on 2008-02-03 12:10:28 | by contra mindy - [ Reply to This ] - |
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| Thanks for comment on 'Underworld'!
You found acouple of real faults that I hadn't even thought about. Thanks! I don't know if I can fix them but I'll have a go at it. |
| | Posted on 2008-01-28 17:05:13 | by Glen Bowman - [ Reply to This ] - |
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| Hi, thank you for your comments on "fret not" I will think about rewording so it makes more sense. But I don't think ill change to much thou, I just played around with meter and iamb, messing around with 4 to 3 count.
Regards Johan |
| | Posted on 2008-01-27 03:07:37 | by Polydectes - [ Reply to This ] - |
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| But............ He looks BIG????????
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| | Posted on 2008-01-25 13:18:53 | by oononotthatguy - [ Reply to This ] - |
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