--Elite Writer Alias: Awkward Name: Keith Campbell ASL: 246/In chains.../Q8 Website:[ Education ] Days Away: 128 Life Story: Never could run [ Ignore User ]
Favorites: 54 Forum Posts: 6 Shoutbox Posts: 0 RP Posts: 0 Signup Date: 5008 D 13.72 Years 1.37 Decades 166.93 Months 715.43 Weeks 5.008000e+8 Heart Beats -There you go eggman Quote: 'ssshhh' (Bjork)
Thank you for leaving your words with me. I don't think we've ever really exchanged a friendship. Although in its heyday this website felt fantastic, there were still unbinding seams. I think the biggest was that inability to actually be together. I've felt familiar with people on this website, but in a way you might become familiar with a stranger that walks by your house every day. In that way, you are very familiar to me. And in that way that a gentle smile from a familiar face can make you feel unassumingly happy, your words made me happy.
Hey, I can't remember if I ever properly thanked you for your critique & edit on "Dot dot dot".
It's been some time now and oi, it's been a hectic while - Been writing a lot, though. Haven't published so many as half my writes, which is new.
I really appreciated your comment so I figured leaving it there without changing anything would remind me and keep me certain that I didn't revise it before thanking you. I wanted to say that your critique, specifically, has served as incentive to work on my haiku techniques; That of which I think might be gaining leverage on a positive inclination.
On a more selfish note, I'd like to see if you could give me some constructive criticism on my latest haiku pieces . . .
(?)
1. A lot of the time, when you communicate to me i am never sure exactly what you are saying. I put that mostly down to you being smarter than me. I recognize what i expressed just now was blunt. I find that easy, look to it, and admire it.
2. I recognize that love is not conjured, it is a combustible. In that sense if several components actuate in a certain fecking sequence creating a spark
then hey ho
that is a miracle. Surely miracles come under the gift category.
3. If person A
had/has a unique set of circumstances
how can i as a person B
blame them at all for any choice i
thought/think to be the work
of a wanting to fit in tosser.
4. How could i blame someone say if they felt like a disappointment
say if they didn't love me
say if the loved person P
say they had too much on plate to cope.
5.
I would want them to feel themselves valued in others eyes. I would understand that choice. I would even admire that and call it courageous.
I would want them to have a spark.
I would want them to be unbridled of any burden.
6. At certain times (past present future)
you could not tell my heart that, it would snarl and spit and bite because it was love and love is MEANT to be ferocious.
So you have conscience,
you have a conciousness
(and this is natural)
and you have wildness
and inevitably
there is a contradiction, invariably
there or many periods of contradiction, swings and roundabouts.
A. Hopefully you forget about it.
B. Hopefully you make lemonade from lemons.
C. Hopefully another lightning comes along.
D. You wish that person well.
E. Maybe it's all of those things.
F. You can be all day asking it not to but: Wolves will howl.
So to be petulant for a moment or grasp at air when you know that the bus has gone, to me that's very human
and I'm proud of that of that in the poem, it doesn't say this is right or that is right it's just all very human.
Happiness would be to have nothing
or that one person you know would turn your day around.
At any hour. (any day would do).
I'm fucking the business at being strong. You can't always be alone you're a wolf.
)
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