Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    --Elite Writer
    Alias: CNPerry
    Name:
    Website:[ Website ]
    Days Away: 1526
    Life Story:
    [ Ignore User ]

    Favorites: 0
    Forum Posts: 0
    Shoutbox Posts: 0
    RP Posts: 0
    Signup Date: 1970 D
    5.4 Years 0.54 Decades
    65.67 Months 281.43 Weeks
    1.970000e+8 Heart Beats
    -There you go eggman

    nav
    nav

    [ Communicate asdf ]

    View all Faves





    [ + RSS ]
    [ + Google It ]
    [ + My Yahoo ]



    dotsLast 20 Submissionsdots

     Free Fall
    :|| V: 693 | C: 2 ||:
    ::Love : Class : Poetry :
     Invisible
    :|| V: 889 | C: 3 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Poetry :
     On The Other Side of Pleading
    :|| V: 618 | C: 0 ||:
    ::Venting : Class : Random Thoughts :
     harbinger2
    :|| V: 661 | C: 0 ||:
    ::Death : Class : Story :
     harbinger
    :|| V: 535 | C: 8 ||:
    ::Death : Class : Story :
     The Truth About CNPerry
    :|| V: 819 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Misc :
     let go
    :|| V: 683 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Poetry :
     why we write
    :|| V: 759 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Passion : Class : Poetry :
    List All...





    ||| Messages |||
      
    Comment on Harbinger:

    "CNPerry,


    The first time I read this sounded almost surreal, like a terrible day or a hellish nightmare. The second time I went through it I could see that it might be tale that you came up one day which might have been triggered by an ominous feeling you might have had.

    I don't usually comment on stories and it’s actually a contradiction taken into account that I do write prose every once in while, too but I when I checked your story I thought it was a scintillating piece worth reading. I reckon that the strengths of it are the descriptive lines, the carefully selected words and most importantly the almost unreal imagery you used such as "the worshiping wind" and "the waltzing wails" I love those combinations. As well as the little alliteration you used here and there.

    The title was perfectly chosen as well. As I've put forward above, I did get the foreshadowing, ill-omened feeling you were trying to convey particularly near the end.

    As for critiques, you might want to add an "a" before nightmare in line 7. I believe it would flow better that way, for my money. But that's up to you, the piece is great the way it is, anyhow.

    Finally, I wanted to know what you had in mind when you wrote this, if possible.

    Kind regards,


    Take care,

    Ethan Brody"


    ps: I was trying to post this during the afternoon and now but I couldn't. The problem seems to be in your account since I have tried to post other comments on other people's writes and I have successfully done so. Let me know when the issue is fixed so as to post the comment where I should have.




    | Posted on 2013-06-19 21:26:20 | by Ethan Brody - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    I have problems with posting comments. They don't get posted with the words I wrote. I'm sorry. I'll try to do it later.
    | Posted on 2013-06-19 14:24:30 | by Ethan Brody - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    Oh man! To think that drunken you is a great poet, makes me a little sad for my sober self’s state of affairs :P I’m also a little glad to hear that rhyming isn’t your go to strategy, and fully understand what you mean about the way the poem was born.

    Now I’m really curious if you could share some of your thoughts on chance. I’d actually spent the day googling “anthropology of luck” (to limited success). Now the fact that oyu brought it up I’m gonna take as a sign (cause I mean… what are the chances). So, what makes you like chance.
    | Posted on 2013-06-16 22:02:30 | by Erreur - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    Hey thanks for the suggestions in your comment on Files, very useful observations. :) I agree the piece could be strengthened. Thanks for taking the time to view my work and comment.
    Have a great one.
    | Posted on 2013-05-08 15:46:36 | by lori_tab - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    Well thanks for the comment. Glad you appreciated the first line and enjoyed the rest. Have a lovely day.
    | Posted on 2013-04-30 09:18:30 | by lori_tab - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    I have also written under the names Malcolmknight and Malcolmbishop. I have been gone. I am back now.
    | Posted on 2013-04-27 23:40:58 | by CNPerry - [ Reply to This ] -



    Format Text?


    Forum id=#81286

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Incubus written by monad
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    This written by Chelebel
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Genesis written by saartha
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    ME written by jjd
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Commencement written by Ramneet

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry