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    poetry


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     Second Coming
    :|| V: 456 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Comedy : Class : Poetry :
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    ||| Messages |||
      
    P.S. Yes, the wooden frame is all that is left. I'm not sure if I can clarify that, but I will see if I can fit something of that sort in.
    | Posted on 2010-07-05 14:57:28 | by dancer-of-words - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    Welcome to Eliteskills!!!!! Thank you for you comment on The Empty Treehouse, and for taking the time to really critique it. You are right, I could leave out some of the phrases in the poem. But I was trying to be specific; I wanted you to really feel like you were in this boy or girl's childhood and have a clearer mental picture of it. Then at the end of the poem it would more poignant when I openly say that this person's childhood is gone.

    Thanks for your tips on some of the forced or obscure rhymes or phrases. I'll try to see if I can edit those spots at all.

    As for honeysuckles, I'm not sure how acquainted you are with them, but they are white or yellow flowers that grow on bushes and vines. If you take out the pistol of the flower and turn it inside out and suck on it, there is really sweet nectar inside that sort of tastes like honey. That's actually why they're called 'honeysuckles.' One of my most prominant childhood memories is sucking flower after flower of these with my sister, as they grew along the fence by my house. I'm sorry you have never sucked a honeysuckle. If you ever try to sometime, don't be disenhearted if your first ones don't seem to have much nectar. There is actually sort of a technique. Also, ocassionally you come across a dry honeysuckle, because a butterfly has already come along and eaten all the nectar.
    Anyhow, thanks for taking the time to comment on my poem and I'm glad you at least sort of liked it!
    -dancer
    | Posted on 2010-07-05 14:41:25 | by dancer-of-words - [ Reply to This ] -



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    January 10 07
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