--Elite Writer Alias: EmpathicAya Name: Aya Azura ASL: 13+8/unMale/Your Mind Bio: [ Quick Bio ] Website:[ Website ] Blog:[ Blog ] Days Away: 1698 Life Story: Are we there yet? [ Ignore User ]
Favorites: 180 Forum Posts: 0 Shoutbox Posts: 11 RP Posts: 0 Signup Date: 5369 D 14.71 Years 1.47 Decades 178.97 Months 767 Weeks 5.369000e+8 Heart Beats -There you go eggman Quote: we are the characters love has cast. -Nan See Kat
Thank you, I guess that is what I'd like my book to be like. Rather than a typical book, more a series of posters you unroll and need a magnifying glass to look at, feelings all over the place. I appreciate the favorite.
Thank you very much for your comments on "Whispering to the Wind".
The lines you mentioned are my favorites as well.
And you are right in treating each line as its own little piece. There are a few lines that are to be used in conjunction...but that's really up to the reader to decide, isn't it?
I believe you are right...it is a vigil.
Again, thank you for your comments!
I love the lines
"Hope becomes overwhelmed
With promises to keep."
I feel like each stanza is a little blip of consciousness, rather than it being one flowing poem. If it wasn't meant that where, there seems to be something stunting the transition from stanza to stanza.
It might be the lack of punctuation, which makes it so that I read it it where I want the punctuation to be, or where I assume they will be, and it messes up whatever flow you intended for the poem to have. Each stanza and each line is powerful within itself, but they have a hard time connecting together to form one poem, which makes it seem as if the poem is lacking one clear idea. But based on your description, that's probably what you wanted, more to capture fleeting feelings than a full idea, and if that was your goal, than you succeeded. You have a lot of gem statements here in this piece, and my favorite is of course the one I pointed out. I feel like sort of like it was one of those things where you see many people walking around with candles in honor of someone. I think it's called a Vigil.