Journal: Mid-Teen crisis
-------------------------------------------Mood: The Usual
I guess I should take back my words and my ideas on starting that new CCA.I might not be able to juggle the activities with my studies. As it is, my results are pretty fragile right now. I'm hardly doing good enough to get a good place at a university. I need to work doubly hard.Thus I need to put that idea aside for this year.But I am feeling like such a loser saying all this.
Why, you ask?Let's see. First, I was the enthusiastic one who must have put so much hope on my peers. Now I just shattering it when I tell them that I am not going to go ahead with the plan. But I need to focus on my studies. If not, what's the use right?
I'm already dealing with so much. What my friends might think are my ''hardships'' are just the half of it. They don't know what I'm crying or brooding about. Maybe I should just keep it that way. Not let others in to my life.
When you think you need a companion, you forget that the one you need most is yourself.I think that might be true sometimes. Just like what HE used to tell me: The person who usually stops you from chasing your own dreams is yourself.
I need to face the music. Heck about the grudges. I'm sure they would understand. Even if they don't, what could I do, right?
Sometimes I think too much about pleasing others I forgot to make myself happy.
...Created 2008-06-07 21:06:09 [ View Past Journals ] [ View as Blog ] |
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