I am sorry you are feeling awful. I will say that yes, that certain awfulness of the teen years will go away. Some seem to carry it around a little longer than others. I have always been a very happy person by nature & wasn't spared that awfulness either, but it seemed to subside, like growing pains.
All is well here. I am working again but not enough to be away from Giu. I wasn't familiar with the Mussorgsky & the connection you made there is brilliant. I came across this Thomas Cole painting & was inspired (well, & by the land around me itself):
I suppose I have to admit, the journal is quite literal. Everyone here lives with Mt. Etna, a large & very active volcano, which is also known as "Valle del bove" or "Valley of the Ox". My journal is a translation of sorts, that perhaps softens what is actually quite torrid terrain.
Hi welcome to my world with your journal. It cant be that bad can it? Tell you what - I started life at your age 60 years ago and felt the same.I then realized I have to make that difference and I did. I still conk things over and spill here and trip over my own three feet I am healthy alive and enjoy but so what. I luv u. Take heart. Joachim