--Elite Writer Alias: Ettenna Izus Name: Jane Doe Website:[ Website ] Days Away: 230 Life Story: 0 [ Ignore User ]
Favorites: 6 Forum Posts: 0 Shoutbox Posts: 0 RP Posts: 0 Signup Date: 271 D 0.74 Years 0.07 Decades 9.03 Months 38.71 Weeks 2.71000e+7 Heart Beats -There you go eggman
I read one of the writes you commented on by ceyx and I understand them perfectly. I think your problem with understanding is you do not look outside the box. To understand such writes, you have to have experience with form and freeverse, with many styles and forms. I suggest you read more work to gain a wider understanding and to help improve your own abilities. By the way, if you think my words empty or insignificant, thy are not. I do not intend to insult, only to inform and help. I have been a member of this site for over 1 1/2 years and have had many friends over that time. If you would like to understand what I mean by checking out many styles, read my works. I have used several different forms and have written freeverse.
As for my saying be more concise: I mean, the form of your poetry... it isn't very pretty to say. First time I looked at it, I sort of saw it as an off shot of prose and poetry hybridizing. Let me give you an example to hopefully clarify.
Prose:
The sun god, Louis XIV, is renowned for his jovial creation, though this is not from where he has earned the title.
Poetry: (Why do I pick such random subjects)
The effigy of light illustrates
himself in Versailles, his domain.
Dubiously, this man made rubble
inspires but awe, not meaning.
(Gosh that was hard for me to write.. I don't even think I want to show you this anymore.. but whatever.)
Do you see the difference? In your pieces I see some of both of these aspects. Thoughts presented like they should be in prose, with random line breaks to conform to a poetic format. Other times, I see poetical thoughts unmilked. I hope you understand what I am saying... (I may not if you don't..)
I don't really know what to say besides thanks. Since you're new and passionate, I will return to favor to not discourage you. (Yes, I pulled the old double negative, slay me!)
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