--Elite Writer Alias: Fifi Name: Madeleine Lloyd ASL: 19/F/UK Bio: [ Quick Bio ] Website:[ Education ] Days Away: 0 Life Story: Born [ Ignore User ]
Favorites: 15 Forum Posts: 2 Shoutbox Posts: 0 RP Posts: 0 Signup Date: 1484 D 4.07 Years 0.41 Decades 49.47 Months 212 Weeks 1.48400e+8 Heart Beats -There you go eggman
I had the same issue with the hunter when I finished the piece but I said I'd leave it and see what others said. I think I'll change it to 'amateur hunter' that way it can be his first kill. Thanks for the suggestions.
My first idea was to have the hunter have a great moment of connection with the deer but I decided it would take a lot more to describe that so I had to short-circuit it and then I was left with the hunter issue.
Thanx for the comment on "Hating You". And to clarify its actually me kinda talking to myself, rather than hating someone else. But your input will help me as Ive decided to try rewriting it and seeing what I come up with.
Thanks for another comment, Fifi. It's funny how by limiting my choices in each line to include only puns on NY a flavor was created. Ya-make-a = Jamaica, Queens; Try Becca = Tribeca (the triangle below Canal St.); Columbus, Amsterdam, etc...
Re: the last line "I guess everybody Misses Liberty" there are 2 meanings as I see it: 1) the fact that the prostitute didn't finish the guy off left him somewhat less than free and 2) our so-called civil liberties are not always, well, very liberating for all those involved...
Oh and sorry the last line of my poem "heart"
wasn't me being cocky,I was supposed to tell you,
its the heart which is speaking in the poem not me,I humanized it so its pretty much talking about itself and its relationship with the rest of yourself.sorry meant to say that earlier...
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