I normally don't try and tell writers what to write but since you asked for my opinion, I would say I liked the 1st one best. I like it for its simplicity and I think it fits most with the ideas/message you were trying to convey.
My reply to your river song was just a thought I had after the read. The addition of my lines to your work is perfectly ok with me. That was not my original intention. I just got carried away with the way you stated the work. I always like to read you. Your works are so mind bending .