Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    --Elite Writer
    Alias: GorgeousCorpse
    Name: yes, really, it's Cameo
    ASL: b.1983/fem.
    Website:[ Website ]
    Days Away: 3883
    Life Story:
    [ Ignore User ]

    Favorites: 0
    Forum Posts: 0
    Shoutbox Posts: 9
    RP Posts: 0
    Signup Date: 4240 D
    11.62 Years 1.16 Decades
    141.33 Months 605.71 Weeks
    4.240000e+8 Heart Beats
    -There you go eggman
    Quote:


    nav
    nav

    [ Communicate asdf ]

    View all Faves





    [ + RSS ]
    [ + Google It ]
    [ + My Yahoo ]



    Journal:
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: The Usual
      
    nobody likes me everybody hates me i'm gonna eat some worms...

    j/k

    i miss everybody :(


    ...Created 2006-09-15 13:25:01     [ View Past Journals ]

    [ View as Blog ]

    dotsLast 20 Submissionsdots

     little girl
    :|| V: 928 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Dark : Class : Random Thoughts :
     my saviour
    :|| V: 698 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Depressed : Class : Poetry :
     spare parts
    :|| V: 795 | C: 2 ||:
    ::Comedy : Class : Poetry :
     thrust
    :|| V: 668 | C: 3 ||:
    ::Passion : Class : Poetry :
     make no mistake
    :|| V: 1456 | C: 4 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Poetry :
     all for you [blame]
    :|| V: 733 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Venting : Class : Rant :
     pnssy
    :|| V: 1523 | C: 3 ||:
    ::Happy : Class : Poetry :
     senseless
    :|| V: 684 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Alone : Class : Poetry :
     irrelevant
    :|| V: 914 | C: 1 ||:
    ::I am dead inside : Class : Random Thoughts :
    List All...





    ||| Messages |||
      
    on "make no mistake"

    no room by the poem to comment..

    the momentum increases with the length of stanzas..that works...as the speaker is so unfeeling and just gets on a "spit in your face" rant...

    "leave you broken on the floor"

    i was thinking something like "and leave the spoils on the floor"

    might leave a little more to the imagination as to what the speaker exactly means by that..

    just a thought...since you were uncomfortable with that line..

    but this poem is really strong in its straight at you style...

    and there is such attitude...

    even without the description...we would be able to get a sense of the speaker...

    i always leave the descriptions alone so the reader can get what he or she sees ---leaves more space.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-04-17 18:07:32 | by jacoberin - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    Hey there, saw you in the flashchat, but I was away at work.
    | Posted on 2006-08-11 00:00:00 | by Lonesomeghost - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    OOps, sorry for the late reply, but really, thanks for your comment on my submussion wall thingy.. ;)
    I'm sure i'll check something odf yours soon ok?

    *hugs*

    Janneke
    | Posted on 2006-09-06 00:00:00 | by Darth Zeus - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    Thanks for the comment on "Liars..etc" (I didn't feel like typin it out ) Of coure the end is immature! I'm an immature teen! not really but sometimes. Plus I couldn't think of an ending, lol. Anyways, glad ya liked it and thanks for the comment!


    ~Kat
    | Posted on 2006-09-01 00:00:00 | by MorbidAngel114 - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    Thank you very much, I'm glad you liked it. but you're right the reason shy i am bouncing back and forth is even though i feel like i've won, I am still battling.
    | Posted on 2006-09-01 00:00:00 | by Cherub Winter - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    Hi, Piggs here, just popped over to say a warm thank you in your direction. I'm glad that most of my peices entertain you!

    Keep writin' yourself!

    ~Truffs
    | Posted on 2006-08-28 00:00:00 | by Trufflepiggy - [ Reply to This ] -



    Format Text?


    Forum id=#32283

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Cover written by saartha
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Carry written by saartha
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Records I written by Raphael
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Love written by saartha
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    prison written by ShyOne
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    untitled written by ShyOne

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry