Journal: Happy crappy
-------------------------------------------Mood: Confused
So I'm at work on a break and felt like writing an entry. I don't really have much to say but I want to write down somthing even thought, like I said, I have nothing to say. I've found that I've never wanted to be seen as melodramatic or to emotional to function so I'm trying to be sensable about whatever I write. I'm not sure If I'm doing that because I want to or becuase of my mother's comments about my writing. I hate it when she reads my journals. Is it not a journal of mine that I can hide it from the world until I want others to see it...but she intruds that space behind my back often. Paranoia's going to destory our relationship, but theres not much I can do except life my cup of Iced Franch Vanilla Coffee and toast to the good times we had when I was twelve.
Anyway on to subject which I had no words for. I'm not strong but I want to be. Now that that one special person is out of my life due to unfortunate events(things I'm so densly unaware of that I messed everying up) I want to do everything. Maybe that's the wrong choice of words since I don't really want to do everything, but I just want to do something to forget whats happened so I'm not that melodramatic child my mother treats me as. Drat, I don't even know what I mean....Maybe I shoul just write one word or phrase for this moment to describe it... Um.. maybe.. Water. Water moves on right? ..Or maybe that's too artsy-fartsy. How about Happy crappy. As in though every thing is going wrong I feel glad and I don't know if it's because 'm covering up something or if I'm moving on... I don't even know myself.. but I guess happy crappy does a pretty good job... Happy crappy it is.
...Created 2008-07-28 19:02:50 [ View Past Journals ] [ View as Blog ] |
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