KishkumanName: Stacy May Hollister ASL: 20/f Bio: [ Quick Bio ] Website:[ Website ] Days Away: 5019 Life Story: Single mom/college [ Ignore User ] Favorites: 1 Forum Posts: 0 Shoutbox Posts: 0 RP Posts: 0 Signup Date: 6045 D 16.56 Years 1.66 |
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Reflective
Mood: LonelyReflective:
I am getting pretty overwhelmed with everything going on right now. I am trying to stay positive. Nevertheless I can feel my self braking apart. College is going to be so hard this semester. Its not that the work is hard, its just that my heart isn’t in it. I know that I just have to push through these next couple of years, so I can get a good job…but *sigh* I am tired.
Not only that I have an obligation within my church that I have to keep up. I am the YSA rep. which means the Yong Sing Adult Representative. That means I am in charge of everyone from 18-31 who is not married. There are about three, including me that actually go to church, and about 87 who are classified under, “inactive.” My job is to bring them back
And then I have my wonderful son, who I just love, love, love and have to make sure I create time for him. But alls I want to do is spend my time with him.
But I know these other things are so important. I am a very religious person. I’m not made that the Bishop asked me to be the YSA rep. It gives me a chance to do service work…but I just feel the pressure is being laid on thick, with everything else going on in my life.
I really don’t have many friends…I guess you can say I ditched them all when I no longer wanted to ruin my life with crap. But ironically I am finding it hard to make friend. I spend time either at school or at church. The people at school live on campus and so they are not really interested in making friends with me, and the people at church look down at me since I am a since mother.
But they don’t even know the half of it! I just feel as if I am going to be alone my whole life….
And alls I have is this stupid site to post my work to make me feel half way humanly connected to the world.
I am getting pretty overwhelmed with everything going on right now. I am trying to stay positive. Nevertheless I can feel my self braking apart. College is going to be so hard this semester. Its not that the work is hard, its just that my heart isn’t in it. I know that I just have to push through these next couple of years, so I can get a good job…but *sigh* I am tired.
Not only that I have an obligation within my church that I have to keep up. I am the YSA rep. which means the Yong Sing Adult Representative. That means I am in charge of everyone from 18-31 who is not married. There are about three, including me that actually go to church, and about 87 who are classified under, “inactive.” My job is to bring them back
And then I have my wonderful son, who I just love, love, love and have to make sure I create time for him. But alls I want to do is spend my time with him.
But I know these other things are so important. I am a very religious person. I’m not made that the Bishop asked me to be the YSA rep. It gives me a chance to do service work…but I just feel the pressure is being laid on thick, with everything else going on in my life.
I really don’t have many friends…I guess you can say I ditched them all when I no longer wanted to ruin my life with crap. But ironically I am finding it hard to make friend. I spend time either at school or at church. The people at school live on campus and so they are not really interested in making friends with me, and the people at church look down at me since I am a since mother.
But they don’t even know the half of it! I just feel as if I am going to be alone my whole life….
And alls I have is this stupid site to post my work to make me feel half way humanly connected to the world.
...Created 2006-09-07 21:07:56 [ View Past Journals ]
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| when two worlds collide....awesome piece...don't lose faith...but...wow...
He knows everything, so...prayer is from the heart...not the spoken words... and He does stay when you sin... the ending was awesome too... i didn't comment on the page with the piece because there wasn't a box...so this was my comment... awesome ending... but...hope that isn't the ENDING...if you know what i mean |
| | Posted on 2006-09-22 00:00:00 | by was_i_ever_real - [ Reply to This ] - |
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| Thank you so much for your comments on Mistaken Identity. I like your idea, I just might do that. I wanted to thank you so much for stalking me. I feel trulely humbled and honored. I too have dreams where the person who is deceased (my dad) is so real and talking to me. I'm sorry for your lost. It seems you have an array of poems for me to choose from to review, I shall do so now. i hope all is well with you.
Catrina |
| | Posted on 2006-09-07 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele - [ Reply to This ] - |
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| Stacy, I too was raped, and chose to keep the baby when I lost her. It was many years ago, and I've healed a great bit, but not perfectly. I'm glad I was able to grasp the poem correctly and feel you need to share that with him as he grows up. Are you still feeling like what your journal says?
Catrina |
| | Posted on 2006-09-09 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele - [ Reply to This ] - |
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| Hi Stacy! Yes, I think it is amazing how life works out that you meet kindered spirits. I am doing good today. i have some chores I need to tend to, but I will do that later on. I am glad you feel relief and joy from your day when you go to church. As for your full plate, you may want to consider your load. I have not read the bible in a while but I do recall a scripture saying something about knowing your own limitations. As for school, take it in stride and try to have fun with it. as for those 80 something single lost sheep, I would do my best, be keep in mind these folks are grown and need to come back on there own, and not feel respondsible if they like dragging their heels. As long as you try, you have done your part. I hope you think I over stepped my boundaries, by giving advise. If so, I apologize. If you need to vent feel free to PM me anytime.
Catrina |
| | Posted on 2006-09-10 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele - [ Reply to This ] - |
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| hey, thanks for the comment and i'll be sure to read your new one when you post it
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| | Posted on 2006-09-08 00:00:00 | by screamALEX - [ Reply to This ] - |
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| P.S.
I read your journal. Chica, if you EVER need someone to talk to, I completely understand your story. A friend of mine is pregnant at 17, and it was due to a rape. I take care of her as best I can, but she's in OR. PM me if you EVER feel alone. I have a myspace too, and my display name is "As Long as you're mine...". Come talk to me if you need someone, ok?? Hugs!! ---Restless |
| | Posted on 2006-09-07 00:00:00 | by Raging Rain - [ Reply to This ] - |
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