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    --Elite Writer
    Alias: KotaNashi
    Name: That one kid.
    ASL: old
    Bio: [ Quick Bio ]
    Website:[ Website ]
    Days Away: 7
    Life Story:
    [ Ignore User ]

    Favorites: 5
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    RP Posts: 41496
    Signup Date: 4353 D
    11.93 Years 1.19 Decades
    145.1 Months 621.86 Weeks
    4.353000e+8 Heart Beats
    -There you go eggman
    shes dead. wrapped in plastic.


    AIM: kotanashi
    [ Communicate asdf ]

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    Currently Stalking: Xavior2, Urisen

    Journal: /////
    Mood: /////

    i just want to die

    in the end it’s that simple.

    maybe more accurately is
    “i dont want to be alive”

    i dont want to be anything at all.

    ive come to a few realizations lately.
    some bigger, some minor,

    mostly about how miscommunication plays
    a large part in my life and that also

    i should be dead by now
    and im disappointed that im not.

    i want to be seen.
    i want to be heard.

    what does it take
    to be asked questions?

    to be asked about myself,
    curious questions about anything

    i lock up anyway, sharing is vulnerability

    ask me anything and i change the topic i am

    a word chameleon.

    hiding behind descriptions of other people
    other things

    which is hilarious
    given how much ive been blundering lately

    saying so many things very unlike myself but
    im not sure if anyone has noticed.
    im not sure i noticed until i looked back on it all.

    plainly, im unhappy with myself.

    im trying to grow and change.
    if i am being dragged, relentlessly against my will
    into the future
    into life

    i need to change. or die. either one works.

    ...Created 2018-03-15 22:14:49     [ View Past Journals ]

    [ View as Blog ]

    dotsLast 20 Submissionsdots

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    ||| Messages |||
    I don't think it would be best to say on ES, be it here or the other. I'm not on the other anyways, so yeah. I don't know.
    | Posted on 2013-04-01 17:08:52 | by Kael Fenshir - [ Reply to This ] -
    It's insanely hard. You really have no idea on what the problems are...
    | Posted on 2013-03-31 22:17:14 | by Kael Fenshir - [ Reply to This ] -
    I have around four semi-finished songs, but I can't bring myself to complete them. Recording headphones broke, had to replace some mics, certain pedals went all crazy on me, and then other personal stuff. It's been about two months and my stuff is getting dusty. So instead, I've been reading a lot.
    | Posted on 2013-03-30 19:05:39 | by Kael Fenshir - [ Reply to This ] -
    It's due to a lot of variables and problems. I finished my first album and its sister(album) and I felt like that was good for about all of it. Felt a slight impulse to continue, but it's a long story. Just complications.
    | Posted on 2013-03-29 23:21:24 | by Kael Fenshir - [ Reply to This ] -
    Taking a break from what?
    | Posted on 2013-03-29 11:11:13 | by Kael Fenshir - [ Reply to This ] -
    Yeah, and you too...uhh...can't think of anything.

    But hey, you're almost a seven year member. Quite a feat, right?

    | Posted on 2013-02-12 00:06:27 | by Kael Fenshir - [ Reply to This ] -

    Format Text?

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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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