Journal: /////Mood: ///// -------------------------------------------
i just want to die
in the end it’s that simple.
maybe more accurately is
“i dont want to be alive”
i dont want to be anything at all.
ive come to a few realizations lately.
some bigger, some minor,
mostly about how miscommunication plays
a large part in my life and that also
i should be dead by now
and im disappointed that im not.
i want to be seen.
i want to be heard.
what does it take
to be asked questions?
to be asked about myself,
curious questions about anything
i lock up anyway, sharing is vulnerability
ask me anything and i change the topic i am
a word chameleon.
hiding behind descriptions of other people
which is hilarious
given how much ive been blundering lately
saying so many things very unlike myself but
im not sure if anyone has noticed.
im not sure i noticed until i looked back on it all.
plainly, im unhappy with myself.
im trying to grow and change.
if i am being dragged, relentlessly against my will
into the future
i need to change. or die. either one works. ...Created 2018-03-15 22:14:49 [ View Past Journals ] [ View as Blog ] List All... ||| Messages ||| Forum id=#31595 Jimmy Ruska Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
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