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    poetry


    --Elite Writer
    Alias: LameMansTerms
    Name: Michael Nobody
    ASL: 36/M/Hermosa Beach, Ca
    Bio: [ Quick Bio ]
    Website:[ Education ]
    Blog: [ Blog ]
    Days Away: 3567
    Life Story: I wish I was My Dog
    [ Ignore User ]

    Favorites: 29
    Forum Posts: 19
    Shoutbox Posts: 4
    RP Posts: 0
    Signup Date: 4647 D
    12.73 Years 1.27 Decades
    154.9 Months 663.86 Weeks
    4.647000e+8 Heart Beats
    -There you go eggman
    Quote:
    "I like people...really, but I love when they aren't around"-Lt

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    AIM: poet454@aim.com
    MSN: lamemansterms@hotmail.com
    Yahoo: amisfitspoetry@yahoo.com
    [ Communicate asdf ]

    Recent Favorites:
    Between The Lines by Sacred Sindy
    God by shaman
    You by Raven_TheWolf
    I'm beautiful by Tinasha
    Hazel Motes Is My Hero by lukewarm
    View all Faves

    Featured:
    Dwelling Days



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    Currently Stalking: webmaster, LamemansTerms, C. Starr

    Journal: lamemansterms
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Misc
      
    Some Fun With Lamemansterms

    * Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
    * If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
    * Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live there.
    * If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
    * Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
    * If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
    * I went for a walk last night, and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone. I said, "The whole time."
    * So what's the speed of dark?
    * How come you don't ever hear about gruntled employees? And who has been dissing them anyhow?
    * After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
    * Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
    * If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
    * I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.
    * Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
    * Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?
    * Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
    * When a man talks dirty to a woman, its sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.
    * If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
    * Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
    * Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
    * Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
    * How come abbreviated is such a long word?
    * If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
    * Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
    * Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
    * Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
    * Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
    * Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
    * If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
    * If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
    * What would a chair look like if your knees bent the otherway?
    * If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
    * Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
    * When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss? It sounds like a near hit to me!!
    * Do fish get cramps after eating?
    * Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
    * Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
    * Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
    * If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
    * When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
    * Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?
    * Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
    * How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
    * If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?
    * Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients, but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
    * Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
    * Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
    * Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
    * Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
    * Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
    * Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
    * What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
    * Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
    * If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
    * Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?
    * Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?
    * Do married people live longer than single people, or does it just SEEM longer?
    * I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
    Hope You -n-joyed them-
    happy holidays from lamemansterms


    ...Created 2007-12-20 05:58:06     [ View Past Journals ]

    [ View as Blog ]

    dotsLast 20 Submissionsdots

    Featured: Dwelling Days

     the other way
    :|| V: 751 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Poetry :
     Jesus DoinTricks for Franky & Mir?
    :|| V: 867 | C: 2 ||:
    :: : Class : Poetry :
     Saint Ain't
    :|| V: 768 | C: 0 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Poetry :
     The After Laughter...it wasn't too funny
    :|| V: 704 | C: 2 ||:
    ::Religious : Class : Poetry :
     single
    :|| V: 885 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Lyrics :
     that girl who one day was just gone
    :|| V: 816 | C: 2 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
     loose lips small dicks
    :|| V: 1003 | C: 3 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
     death and luggage
    :|| V: 943 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
     the dumb truck
    :|| V: 895 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Society : Class : Lyrics :
     trick or treat
    :|| V: 809 | C: 2 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
     stick figures
    :|| V: 895 | C: 3 ||:
    ::Love : Class : Poetry :
     surf this
    :|| V: 626 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Poetry :
     I fear her
    :|| V: 1543 | C: 5 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
     Virgin
    :|| V: 817 | C: 4 ||:
    ::Love : Class : Poetry :
     living in the past
    :|| V: 928 | C: 2 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Poetry :
     ripping you
    :|| V: 688 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Lyrics :
     six string thing
    :|| V: 986 | C: 4 ||:
    ::Passion : Class : Poetry :
     a selfish kiss
    :|| V: 1018 | C: 4 ||:
    ::Love : Class : Poetry :
     medium rare
    :|| V: 868 | C: 2 ||:
    ::Love : Class : Poetry :
     Ballad of the Breathless
    :|| V: 789 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Lyrics :
    List All...





    ||| Messages |||
      
    “There are three deaths. The first is when the body ceases to function. The second is when the body is consigned to the grave. The third is that moment, sometime in the future, when your name is spoken for the last time.” You left Norton, but Inwood still remembers. Blue Mountain, Good Shepherd, Park Terrace.
    | Posted on 2017-01-01 04:53:57 | by Sarsfield - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    I miss you man. hope you are in a better place. after 7 years of being here im finally saying good bye to this place. wish you the best and your company will be missed. we had some good talks and this place will never be the same with you gone.
    | Posted on 2011-07-24 00:47:21 | by musclebound350 - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    I love you too baby. And my God I miss you...Mike- Mr. Lamemans Terms. Friend of mine. Dear sweet similar soul. So many things I want to say, things I wish you could hear, I want to say thank you for being.well, just for being you and for the time I knew you. I wish I had visited you in September of 2007 when I went to LA. One of the last things you wrote to me through email was that there'd be other opportunities, but with a sarcastic right ?! at the end of the sentence. And on here you warned that you would'nt be around forever. I will always regret not staying in LA that weekend and just finding a way home. I wish you wouldve told me something was wrong, I wish I would have known that it happened when it happened. It has been so painful to find out this way through myspace. I just thought we were both busy for the last year, wrapped up in our own lives. You died 2 months after I last spoke to you and 4 months after I was miles from your house. You died the same month 2 other close friends died. I want to tell you I feel cursed. Too many men that I have cared for, too many of the men in my life who have been my source of guidance and inspiration and friendship have died like this. Too soon. Too.out of the blue. Too close together. And I feel like its just too much that you are one of them. I will miss you and our talks, I will miss your humor, your sensitive side not many saw, your real true to the [censored] grit, your poetry, your take on mine, your take on everything, I will miss you deeply & forever my friend. Online or not you have been one the greatest friends of my life and I will forever miss everything about YOU.
    LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.
    | Posted on 2009-05-08 22:45:39 | by C. Starr - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    what up man... long time not see. I haven't been here in forever.. looks like you haven't either
    | Posted on 2009-01-05 18:09:56 | by musclebound350 - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    I know you're neve here any more, but I thought I'd drop you a line and tell you that I miss reading the new and exciting sexual sarcasm that is LT. ^_^
    | Posted on 2008-12-05 16:30:36 | by I_Bleed_Ink - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    just letting the folks know that my cousin passed away in january. peace and love o all of you who knew and cared. his art will live in peace. my email is chalucha@yahoo.com if anyone needs. also if anyone knew the name of the mother of his children i would like to let her know and talk. be in peace my cuz
    | Posted on 2008-10-09 01:17:15 | by chalucha - [ Reply to This ] -



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    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox

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