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    --Elite Writer
    Alias: LameMansTerms
    Name: Michael Nobody
    ASL: 36/M/Hermosa Beach, Ca
    Bio: [ Quick Bio ]
    Website:[ Education ]
    Blog: [ Blog ]
    Days Away: 4749
    Life Story: I wish I was My Dog
    [ Ignore User ]

    Favorites: 29
    Forum Posts: 19
    Shoutbox Posts: 4
    RP Posts: 0
    Signup Date: 5829 D
    15.97 Years 1.6 Decades
    194.3 Months 832.71 Weeks
    5.829000e+8 Heart Beats
    -There you go eggman
    "I like people...really, but I love when they aren't around"-Lt


    AIM: poet454@aim.com
    MSN: lamemansterms@hotmail.com
    Yahoo: amisfitspoetry@yahoo.com
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    Dwelling Days

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    Currently Stalking: webmaster, LamemansTerms, C. Starr

    Journal: lamemansterms
    Mood: Misc
    Some Fun With Lamemansterms

    * Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
    * If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
    * Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live there.
    * If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
    * Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
    * If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
    * I went for a walk last night, and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone. I said, "The whole time."
    * So what's the speed of dark?
    * How come you don't ever hear about gruntled employees? And who has been dissing them anyhow?
    * After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
    * Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
    * If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
    * I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.
    * Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
    * Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?
    * Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
    * When a man talks dirty to a woman, its sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.
    * If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
    * Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
    * Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
    * Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
    * How come abbreviated is such a long word?
    * If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
    * Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
    * Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
    * Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
    * Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
    * Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
    * If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
    * If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
    * What would a chair look like if your knees bent the otherway?
    * If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
    * Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
    * When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss? It sounds like a near hit to me!!
    * Do fish get cramps after eating?
    * Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
    * Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
    * Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
    * If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
    * When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
    * Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?
    * Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
    * How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
    * If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?
    * Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients, but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
    * Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
    * Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
    * Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
    * Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
    * Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
    * Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
    * What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
    * Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
    * If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
    * Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?
    * Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?
    * Do married people live longer than single people, or does it just SEEM longer?
    * I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
    Hope You -n-joyed them-
    happy holidays from lamemansterms

    ...Created 2007-12-20 05:58:06     [ View Past Journals ]

    [ View as Blog ]

    dotsLast 20 Submissionsdots

    Featured: Dwelling Days

     the other way
    :|| V: 1016 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Poetry :
     Jesus DoinTricks for Franky & Mir?
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    :: : Class : Poetry :
     Saint Ain't
    :|| V: 1068 | C: 0 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Poetry :
     The After Laughter...it wasn't too funny
    :|| V: 966 | C: 2 ||:
    ::Religious : Class : Poetry :
    :|| V: 1265 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Lyrics :
     that girl who one day was just gone
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    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
     loose lips small dicks
    :|| V: 1341 | C: 3 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
     death and luggage
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    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
     the dumb truck
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    ::Society : Class : Lyrics :
     trick or treat
    :|| V: 1166 | C: 2 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
     stick figures
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    ::Love : Class : Poetry :
     surf this
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    ::Misc : Class : Poetry :
     I fear her
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    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
    :|| V: 1056 | C: 4 ||:
    ::Love : Class : Poetry :
     living in the past
    :|| V: 1231 | C: 2 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Poetry :
     ripping you
    :|| V: 959 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Lyrics :
     six string thing
    :|| V: 1319 | C: 4 ||:
    ::Passion : Class : Poetry :
     a selfish kiss
    :|| V: 1396 | C: 4 ||:
    ::Love : Class : Poetry :
     medium rare
    :|| V: 1219 | C: 2 ||:
    ::Love : Class : Poetry :
     Ballad of the Breathless
    :|| V: 1087 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Lyrics :
    List All...

    ||| Messages |||
    i love you!
    | Posted on 2008-01-22 15:32:17 | by purplesun24 - [ Reply to This ] -
    Thankyou for your comment on my poem. I don't drop by often anymore, but it's great to know that I am still read occasiohnally.
    | Posted on 2008-01-17 15:35:02 | by hanuman - [ Reply to This ] -
    Today...I am fabulous. Thanks for asking. So, what is it we are trying to guess the answer for? Who I am as a person, or what lol?
    | Posted on 2008-01-16 15:38:54 | by Peachpitt - [ Reply to This ] -
    Oooo wrong again! It was not the Bestie Boys, but some random new band called "One Republic". It's not my usual taste in music, but its a heart-felt addicting song. How are you today?
    | Posted on 2008-01-15 16:20:18 | by Peachpitt - [ Reply to This ] -
    Your comment made me laugh. So thank you. I didn't write my jurnal. I mean I did, but Its in quotations because it is lyrics from a song that I like as of recently. Also, I am not a cutter. I sometimes write about being broken and may sound like one, but its all talk. I care about my body too much to destroy it : ) Happy Sunday and thanks for the Egg lol.
    | Posted on 2008-01-13 09:00:55 | by Peachpitt - [ Reply to This ] -
    ive been out for a while but now im back. just through my girlfriend out. [censored] had her so called friend livin with us [censored]in him well i was at work so i had regulate. im done with that [censored].
    | Posted on 2008-01-10 15:15:11 | by jermwerm - [ Reply to This ] -

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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




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