--Elite Writer Alias: MusingMinstrel Name: Aaron Leiva ASL: 25/Male/Chi-Town Website:[ Education ] Days Away: 3 Life Story: [ Ignore User ]
Favorites: 46 Forum Posts: 0 Shoutbox Posts: 250 RP Posts: 0 Signup Date: 2130 D 5.84 Years 0.58 Decades 71 Months 304.29 Weeks 2.130000e+8 Heart Beats -There you go eggman Quote: Since time began, the dead alone know peace. Life is but melting snow...~Nandai
i adore you
incidentally i still remember the first time i heard stairway to heaven... it was 3am and i was lying on the floor with my dad and i dont even know why but i started crying..
I did read it more than once. I'll stand by what I said. Firstly I think the idea that "just over four years" adds a lot of meaning loses out to the idea that "just over" sounds awkward. I mean thinking metaphorically 4 has relatively few connotations. 4 riders of the apocalypse? I mean Jesus rose after three days, God created man on the sixth day, rested on the seventh, that guy went around the world in eighty days in a balloon... I mean its a Lost number.. I'm not sure what "just over" adds when as I read the poem I almost stumble from the unnecessary syllables.
Secondly I guessed only at meaning of "just over." assuming that none of these works are polished I'll wait until I read a published poem before I speculate on meaning but here simply comment on what I think worked and what I think didn't.
Even more than that once one puts out a poem its more important that you get your idea across than that I get it from the poem. I mean Joyce and Eliot can demand of me that I get it, but if I totally missed the poem (and I don't think I did) then that's another issue with the poem. I mean the best poems work on both a lighter level and then on a deeper level. Yes I think this does this. But no I don't think I misread it.
I mean I get the difference between physical distance and emotional difference. The comparison between physical and emotional challenges. I think in the evaluation of comments in this pseudo-workshop format you shouldn't discount someones comments because they misread it. Ask instead why did they misread it? What can I do to fix that? I mean sure some people will miss it but to just be overly confident in the poem is a mistake.
thanks for the comment
i wrote that piece years ago and i have no idea how hahaha!
i couldnt replicate it if i tried.
but cheers! a girl needs an adorer once in a while
you owe me stories of adventures oh yes you do!
thanks for the leonard cohen... seriously... seeing him on my page made me smile even though there is no way the connection here would ever permit me to listen/watch.
im loving it here.
LOVING IT!
i never want to go home lol
i think after i have been to my friends wedding in Illinois next year i will come back here... just gotta find a coupla pennies to make it happen
anywas... i have missed you with the fire of a thousand suns... do not stay along too much longer
i leave for ethiopia tomorrow!
so i wont be round for a coupla months [just incase you suddenly reappear round here and be all active and im not here lol]
i think you just had a birthday perhaps? [for some reason i have mid september in mind as a birthday for you...] so if i am correct i hope you had a lovely one