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ASL: 30/F*GA
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Days Away: 4649
Life Story: Summarize.
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Signup Date: 6438 D
17.64 Years 1.76 Quote:
"I'll tell you when you are older"--Mom

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Crystal Canyons by wewak11
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Mood: Overwhelmed
I am hoping that this week won't go by without me finding a job.The hardest thingI have ever done is accept that I am completely broke..It really sux ass...

How can it be June already? Randi will be 14 this month and Chandler will be 8.
My sweet babies are growing up so fast.
Randi and I have drifted apart lately. She has written numerous entries in her journal about how she hates me. I know it is somewhat typical to be hating on your mom at 13...but this is true hate. I dont think anyone has ever hated me like this. I can feel her starring at me when my back is turned....i feel the burn of her hate for me. I have put off talking with her, I am spread so thin between the three of them, and Chandler takes up so much of my time and energy.
And I think I was struggling with the fact that talking to Randi wouldmean accepting that she is growing up. Finally, I decided to just do it, Why was this so hard? So the time had come, for me to BE A MOM to a TEENAGE GIRL Who hated me completely.....SOOOOO.......
Last night we talked for a long time,
I told her about what my dad had done to me, and about being raped when I was in the 9th grade. She will be in the 9th grade in a few months.
I wanted to be sure she was aware of different situations that we sometimes get into, and I wanted her to understand that inner "feeling" that we get that warns us of these situations ahead of time. I wanted her to know that she should always feel free to come to me with questions, concerns or anything else she needed to talk about or know about.
She is getting boobs, and there are other signs of puberty starting to show, But she is concerned that she hasnt gotten her period yet. I told her not to rush it, it is a horrible part of being a woman. Then I warned her that the time for it was very close and she should be prepared. I still cannot believe this time has come. wasn't it only yesterday she was learning to walk?
Where did the years go?
I have struggled for many years, even before I had children, with the decision of telling my future daughter of the horrible experiences I endured, and the secrets I had kept for so long. My ultimate desire is to shelter them and protect them, But I am more realistic than that, and I know that is impossible. Already she has had to deal with the reality of MEN and the bad choices men make.
She is not the leader that I was at that age, So I worry her choice of friends will be her demise.
I told her of my desires to protect her forever from the things I went thru....Perhaps I gave her too much information at once. HOw am I supposed to know? I am so clueless at times, most of the time, What I should do.
I worry that I will mess up so big as a mom that I hurt my children.
As much as I want to shelter them from this world, I also want to show them reality, so they will be prepared. I was so unaware of so many things when I was a child/ teen...No one told me anything, I had to learn along the way. And that usually results in much confusion, and many mistakes. I want these girls to be better prepared than I was, and sometimes that means showing the the harsh reality...right?

Yesterday my mom came to visit, and she asked me if I was on Meth...Funny how she asks now that I am NOT on it anymore...I must seem messed up when I am sober.
Sorry Mom, It is too late to ask, too late to help, I , once again, have rescued myself.
Being on that stuff kept me locked away, inside my bedroom. When I would pull myself away from the computer or the pipe to walk out of my bedroom, I was not very plesant. I was hateful or distant with the girls.
I didn't know!!! I swear !!! I was so out of it, I didn't mean for it to go this far.
Now I am clean and I hope I can stay clean forever. Knowing what i know now, I dont think it will be hard to stay clean.
Randi and I leave for NYC on the 7th.
Neither of us seem too excited though. I hope I get a child support check so I can give her some money for souvineers.
I sure hope we have a good time, she and I both need this, but more importantly we need it to go well.
I hope when she is 16 we can plan a trip to Paris or maybe Ireland.

For now, I just wish she didnt hate me so much.
Maybe the talk will help her to understand that I only wish to protect her, and I want to arm her with the righttools, information, knowledge to get her thru the situations that I cannot protect her from. I do not think I will ever be ready to let go...Is it too late to have an abortion? that was a really lame joke...
sigh.....what next?

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List All...


Wendy You Call me a Name that you put me up to.

You called or text me every day for 3 weeks to get drugs for you that I was not even doing.

You knew I Loved you. "You knew I would do any thing for you" and you took full advantage of me like you have all three times is the past.

You know fully well all you did to me. So does God.

My only crime was I loved you.

| Posted on 2009-07-11 18:42:39 | by radguitarringer - [ Reply to This ] -
Gutter slut, whore ,tramp , lying [censored], snitch, destroyer of lives, sociopath
| Posted on 2009-04-30 23:05:15 | by radguitarringer - [ Reply to This ] -
Tell Wendy to stop messing with my girl friend Nikki and stop sending me messages, I know she being your sister and all ,I,m feel sorry for you, the things she has told me about you I believe to be untrue, Tell the lying whore, back stabbing [censored], snitch, I,m tired of [censored] her year after year only to she her [censored] me over and all her other boyfriends to at the same time for money or what ever she thinks she can get, tell dale that [censored] coward leaving a message on my phone, blocking his number, is the act of a coward, and has no balls , to face me, sorry to drag you into this, but wendy needs to know, I think she is the sickess, mental, low down sorry, backstabbin, theif person I have ever met, And there is a such thing as karma,,

Billy Murphy

Body: Ihe biggest part of this is true, and yeah she hurt me at one time, but after knowing this girl for over 20 years, there is something about her I still love. I really dont understand why, maybe. At least this girl told me one time that if we got married that it probably wouldnt last 5 years, because she couldnt stay faithful and I knew that without her having to say it, but ya know, I'd pobably do it knowing she would cheat on me because Im not a stupid guy and dont have any problems finding dates at all.. Yeah most if not all of this is true,,,Billy Murphy

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Eye Candy
To: ©~Billy~©
Date: Apr 24, 2009 1:59 AM
Subject: About wendy G,, How much of this is true,, Cause I love her to

Glibness and Superficial Charm

Manipulative and Conning
Wendy never recognize the rights of others and sees her self-serving behaviors as permissible.

She appears to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing Her victim as

merely an instrument to be used. She will dominate and humiliate Her victims.

Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as "Her right."

Pathological Lying
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on

a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about Her own lies

and abilities. Extremely convincing Pathological Lier

Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others

around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have

victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let

nothing stand in their way.

Shallow Emotions
When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than

experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining

unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are

their promises.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!All Fake!!!!

Incapacity for Love

Need for Stimulation
Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and punishments are normal. Promiscuity is common.

Callousness/Lack of Empathy
Unable to empathize with the pain of her victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of

distress and readily taking advantage of them.

Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive

cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness her victim. Believe they are

all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern

for her impact on others.

Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
she has a history of behavioral difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in

making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people and animals,

stealing, will Steal while you are watching her..I know I lost $500.00. that way,, and she tried to blame it on my kids 9 and 14 etc. they have every thing they could ever desire!!! but I for gave her,, o the spot ,,,,,My mistake!!!!

Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious and indifferent to the

devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts she

obviously committed.

Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity ,
Promiscuity, child sexual abuse,Rape lived with a 17 year old, mark worley , thats rape!! and

sexual acting out of all sorts. Lived with Mark Worley he was only 17 years old she was35 .

Will sleeep with anyone 16 to 60 as Long as she gets what she wants!!!!!!!

Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle !! Leechs !! from others!! User of people .
makes all encompassing promises for the future,!!! all lies!!!! poor work ethic!! never could

hold a real job!!! but exploits others effectively. Buy Me a car!! I need a new car!!!!

Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
Changes her image as needed to avoid pr
osecution. and will get you to do her dirty work and then snitch you out saying you were the

bad person when she, or saying she will to controll you ...She was the person behind the

whole thing !!!!!!!!!!!!

Changes life story readily.
She maybe Pretty on the outside, but on the inside She,s A MONSTER, A Destroyer Of LIVES, Even

Her own Children,,Afraid they will be better looking than her and more sucessfull than her,,

She will act dumb!!!!! but knows what she,s doing all the time !!!!,,Wendy You Are INsane!!!

Contemptuous of those who seek to understand her

Does not perceive that anything is wrong with her!!! I am fine everyone else is messed up!!

Authoritarian , Self explaintory!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Secretive, Readly says no one knows every thing about me!!!!!My secrets are my own!!!

Paranoid ,, I,m glad my secrets are my own ( this quotes her own sayings) Face book if she

hasn,t eraced it !!!

Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where her tyrannical behavior

will be tolerated, condoned, or admired!! I got lots a guys!!!!!! I been/am a player and I,m

good at it !!!!!!

Conventional appearance is part of her conning and uses her god given looks to charm her


Goal of enslavement of her victim(s)

Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim's life !!!!!!

Has an emotional need to justify their crimes and therefore needs their victim's affirmation

(respect, gratitude and love)

Ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim,,, Rodney Dallas is example went to savanna,

Ga with him,for several days,, oct 2008, didn,t even know him never met him before,,, And

seeing /talking/ sleeping with at least 4 oher guys at the same time..Rodney, Dale, Preston, Wade, Mark,

Chris, Mason, Lance, Ac guy??,,who knows who else!! John,, and another John,, Even Randi,s

boyfriends , Father,,,, and Me , And some Dr, She was showing her pussy to on web cam, naked pictures

are a common, Lets get a hotel, [censored] me like a whore are very common,,, Play with my pussy,

Call me a dirty whore!! also common,,masterbates 8 x Daily, some on the phone to her Victems,,,,

Call people that will do any thihng for her as (meons ), A Quote from her ,,,,,,Thats the guys that are so much unlike her type ,, but she keeps them hanging on with her charm or sleeping with them from time to time to get what she wants when she wants it !!
How many of you guys fall under this !!!!!

If she has a car who bought it for her, And who is she conning into buying her a new one now , or trying to con,,!! Dale , Or one of her 100,s of Internet friends,,,

, Kevin bought Randi,s car, she said he was fat and smelled like baby powder HAHA, And then she tried to get him to buy her one,,he cought on before

that happened,, the guy she said to lose her number,, worked at keystone with,,, Poor soul,,

he spent thousands,, on her so Did I ,, How many others we don,t know about !!!!christmas 2007 Kevin did not know she was sleeping with all these guys , she,s very
secretive ,,,,,

Incapable of real human attachment to another ,,, She will tell you that in her own way!!!

Unable to feel remorse or guilt,, except to convince you she does, it,s part of her conning!!

Extreme narcissism and grandiose!!~!

The term narcissism means
love of oneself Her Myspace song Love yourself is a perfect example and refers to the set of character traits concerned with self-admiration, self-centeredness and self-regard. The name was chosen by Sigmund Freud, from the Greek myth of Narcissus, who was doomed to fall in love with his own reflection in a pool of water.

While virtually everyone can be claimed to possess some degree of narcissistic traits, certain forms of narcissism can be highly dysfunctional, Look At Her pictures can,t you see,,,,,and thats WENdY GARNER !!!!!!!

| Posted on 2009-04-30 23:03:08 | by radguitarringer - [ Reply to This ] -

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