--Elite Writer Alias: RR7059 Name: Rob Not-given Website:[ Education ] Days Away: 257 Life Story: Born. Alive. [ Ignore User ]
Favorites: 0 Forum Posts: 0 Shoutbox Posts: 0 RP Posts: 0 Signup Date: 844 D 2.31 Years 0.23 Decades 28.13 Months 120.57 Weeks 8.440000e+7 Heart Beats -There you go eggman
It will not allow me to comment on "The Cross", so I will comment here for you. The poem holds a cretin promise, but feels as though it is lacking something.
The work itself is executed well, but seems to be missing a grittiness or darkness one would expect from a write on such a subject. There is some of it there, but you are just scratching the surface.
I am going to go out on a limb here and say you have no personal experience with being a prostuite. If you wish to write something that exudes excellence and is dark in nature, you need to either draw from personal experience, or from something that once you hear it hits you at your very core and moves you.
Again, the poem is not bad. It just feels (to me) that it is lacking something that would take it from a good write to a stellar one.
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