Journal:
-------------------------------------------Mood: I can do better.
I knew what would come that night so I sat as a gentlemen.Spoke in the calmest manner as a gentlemen and counted every obstacle that I could jump right over.I felt more than kool.I was in the middle of the street ready to drop the flag for this full blown race waiting to happen.In the midst of that I had so much to say,give,take and just simply let out.As they started the cars my own life was beginning to kick into overdrive.For some odd reason things were flashing.I was becoming a quarterback with coolers of pressure.looking down field not knowing what to do with the ball.Should I launch it or just fucking scramble? People who were good were slipping my mind as I was in my comfort zone and position.Writing mattered lesser and lesser because of the things I tolerated,like doing 6 Ls a week and still having the projects these people were mailing and sending me in.I was happy with myself.Happy with my profession because even that was'nt a lifestyle.But what the fuck was I doing? It was obvious that I was forgetting about people and things then picking them back up again.So I sat with my advisor and we talked about shit like my performance for next month and other personal things of my path.And at that split second I knew.I knew I was evolving while being involved in things concerning me,important it was.One side of my printing room was polished and cleaned,the other was messy and needed correction.That was my bad and my blame because of my business and itchy feet in such a short while.There was only one thing I could do as 3rd down approached.Get back out there,clean it the fuck up and just accept the strongest losses and defeats but never throw in the white towel.Fuck that.
...Created 2008-05-12 21:59:06 [ View Past Journals ] [ View as Blog ] |
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