Might as well post occasionally here. Couldn't hurt, most everyone who is out to get me is gone now, not that I minded overly much then. Hope the site has picked up a bit, I see a lot of new poets. We shall see.
Thank you for reading the "sonnet" but I'm really confused by both comments saying there is an extra syllable somewhere (I keep counting and cant find one tho). Yours pointed out the line, finally... tired is 1 syllable, isn't it? I looked it up, it should just be one. I'm not arguing, I'm just double-checking. Of course, prism is supposed 1 syllable, although really it's 2... maybe I need to change the word "tired" to something else. Everybody is all southern on this site :)
Thank you for the helpful comment tho. The guy I wrote it for liked it at least :) He says he is going to drive here from TX to meet me. It's brought me good things, that write.
PS: I appreciate you pointing out the overuse of certain words, and I'm going to work on that... you've been very helpful, thank you!
I like it Keeg. You know I'm a sucker for well structured rhyme, particularly when it doesn't feel forced. More than anything though, it just makes me want to say congratulations again. I'm glad it's working for the two of you. And in-house inspiration has to be a good thing.