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    poetry


    --Elite Writer
    Alias: Sir Jimeth
    Name: Jim Clark
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    Featured:
    a long walk



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    Currently Stalking: jessie thomas, Raivn, lori_tab, bleeding-soul, blu_kittin, Derrick Thomas

    Journal: 914
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood:
      
    09-14-2008-19.40
    Submitted "YOU ARE SHIT".
    The all cap effect is derived from the inspiration for the write. Though perhaps I should remove the all caps. All caps looks more childish than all lowercase. How about that?


    ...Created 2008-09-15 01:00:45     [ View Past Journals ]

    [ View as Blog ]

    dotsLast 20 Submissionsdots

    Featured: a long walk

     insomnia
    :|| V: 176 | C: 2 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
     On Love Poems
    :|| V: 238 | C: 8 ||:
    ::Happy : Class : Poetry :
     Ripples in the Timeline
    :|| V: 225 | C: 6 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Poetry :
     2-20-2008
    :|| V: 101 | C: 3 ||:
    ::Passion : Class : Prose :
     The Clearing
    :|| V: 63 | C: 2 ||:
    :: : Class : Prose :
     soup
    :|| V: 64 | C: 4 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Prose :
     YOU ARE SHIT
    :|| V: 38 | C: 2 ||:
    ::Love : Class : Story :
     The Thrush
    :|| V: 64 | C: 2 ||:
    ::Passion : Class : Poetry :
     Finality
    :|| V: 235 | C: 8 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Prose :
     Featured worka long walk
    :|| V: 36 | C: 2 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Prose :
    List All...





    ||| Messages |||
      
    nah, i struggle w/titles too...
    | Posted on 2008-10-02 08:47:56 | by joeyalphabet - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    Depends...
    Are you a liar?
    | Posted on 2008-09-20 02:47:22 | by was_i_ever_real - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    madness it may be...
    but it's for your own good sir.
    | Posted on 2008-09-19 21:32:17 | by was_i_ever_real - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    confusion, confusion, and more confusion....

    it's best you just ignore what i say, because i haven't got a clue.

    | Posted on 2008-09-19 14:21:25 | by was_i_ever_real - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    :(

    you did write soup.

    liar.
    | Posted on 2008-09-19 02:07:12 | by was_i_ever_real - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    I say a big thank your for your comments on "I am Not". That is the sort of thing I imagine this site was intended for, and is rarely used for. I myself am guilty of not being all that specific. I tend to only comment on the pieces I like, or at lest have potential.

    The piece was about the past in general, not particular incidents per say. Though some specific happenings do come to mind when I read it to myself. I would also say it is more than fair for you to judge it as a piece of art, I did put it out there, therefore it is fair game.

    My use of the lines "I am not whole, I am not" was the merging of two different but related statements about myself. I am not whole is pretty obvious, the following I am not is a little less so. My most thought out meaning was using it as a sort of old speak. Such as "this was all for not" meaning (as I am sure you already know) this was all for nothing. So I was saying "I am nothing". I also did intend to leave it open ended so that someone else could fill in the blank with their own qualifier and possibly make (or feel) a more personal connection.

    I again thank you for your feedback. And while I do not go back to rewrite old work (almost never anyway) I do keep what people say in mind for the future. I am one that thinks most pieces that stick to a ridged rhyme scheme sound contrived more often than not. But I do think rhymes can be cleaver and add a special something. I have always done this in my work. If a few come to me I will use them, but I will not force more out and risk the integrity of the piece for sake of it.

    P.S.- I have no defence for my use of the cleiched lines, you got me dead to rights on that one.
    | Posted on 2008-09-16 16:13:09 | by nicodemous - [ Reply to This ] -



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