--Elite Writer Alias: Skyhawk Name: Skyhawk the Hierophant ASL: lol ASL Website:[ Website ] Days Away: 18 Life Story: I'm all too common. [ Ignore User ]
Favorites: 0 Forum Posts: 6 Shoutbox Posts: 0 RP Posts: 0 Signup Date: 773 D 2.12 Years 0.21 Decades 25.77 Months 110.43 Weeks 7.730000e+7 Heart Beats -There you go eggman Quote: Our fathers were models for God. If our fathers bailed, what does that tell you about God?
I have a problem taking Emo seriously because I'm an old person who can't remember when I got tired of having those moods! So I'm instinctively going: Arrgh, that's unhealthy!
Thanks for the asspat. Was it as good for you as it was for me?? Anyway, in all seriousness thank you for the indepth critique. You were right about alot of things. I do intend to continue. I'm not sure I'll salvage my older pieces, maybe scrap 'em and gently remove the pieces I like. I enjoy the fact that you weren't too nice. It stays with you longer when someone is actually critical then when it's all sunshine and daisies.
That said, I appreciate your time. Seriously.
The poem is an old one and definately in need of pruning. I am grateful for the look-see and suggestions.
It isn't that I don't like/love form poetry, it's just that it doesn't come easy. Does that make me a lazy poet? Probably. It's just out of my comfort zone.
I will say one thing, I suck at grammer. But when reading other's work and it is placed correctly, you get the feel of a piece and how the author intended it to be read.