--Elite Writer Alias: Sparkster Name: Jermaine Johnson ASL: 19/male/VA Bio: [ Quick Bio ] Website:[ Education ] Blog:[ Blog ] Days Away: 2378 Life Story: Summarize. [ Ignore User ]
Favorites: 5 Forum Posts: 0 Shoutbox Posts: 0 RP Posts: 0 Signup Date: 4701 D 12.88 Years 1.29 Decades 156.7 Months 671.57 Weeks 4.701000e+8 Heart Beats -There you go eggman Quote: "Life is fragile, handle with prayer."
Thanks Sparkster, your comment is well received and I appreciate your praise on Birdsong Dawn. I am glad you liked the similies established for day and night.
You once took my eyes for a ride
and my legs decided to follow.
I threw my doubts to the wind for
those magical seven digits.
You showed me the scars and bruises
life left on your heart.
In return I showed you what love looks like
in a build-a-bear box,
in a darkened movie theater,
in an abandoned living room.
You left my unfamiliar love for
the comfort of recognizable pain.
I opened the door for you
day after week after month after year
as you sought solace in my weakness
But don't forget;
memory lane leads to Lynnhaven mall
where you can always find a remnant
of what we had.
"Just don't be afraid if you catch a glimpse of us two, walking hand in hand, in a shiny store window."
Now I wrote those last 3 lines just to inspire you. I would never modify someone elses poem like that. Maybe it will inspire you to write a better ending. Or you could leave your last stanza like it is without the last line. That would make it sound more honest. I hope I've helped.
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