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    poetry


    --Elite Writer
    Alias: Twice
    Name: Will Doe
    ASL: M/PA
    Website:[ Education ]
    Days Away: 4945
    Life Story: Looking for my voice
    [ Ignore User ]

    Favorites: 9
    Forum Posts: 1
    Shoutbox Posts: 0
    RP Posts: 0
    Signup Date: 5163 D
    14.15 Years 1.41 Decades
    172.1 Months 737.57 Weeks
    5.163000e+8 Heart Beats
    -There you go eggman
    Quote:
    In life we are twice born and we twice die, but we only live once.

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    Necaise City Limits by tjsmith5
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    dotsLast 20 Submissionsdots

     Elite Skills
    :|| V: 959 | C: 4 ||:
    ::Venting : Class : Poetry :
     Backwords
    :|| V: 770 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Poetry :
     Your Goast
    :|| V: 661 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Longing : Class : Poetry :
     Paper Yesterday
    :|| V: 748 | C: 0 ||:
    ::Depressed : Class : Poetry :
     Folds of Skin
    :|| V: 624 | C: 0 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
     Spray Paint
    :|| V: 755 | C: 0 ||:
    ::Love : Class : Poetry :
     Burnt Blush
    :|| V: 822 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
     Lace
    :|| V: 689 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Love : Class : Poetry :
     Nights Tower
    :|| V: 987 | C: 0 ||:
    ::Depressed : Class : Poetry :
     Cupid's Tears
    :|| V: 750 | C: 0 ||:
    ::Love : Class : Poetry :
     Rebirth of a Body Broken
    :|| V: 742 | C: 0 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
     Father's Whore
    :|| V: 793 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
     I Think I'm Crazy
    :|| V: 883 | C: 2 ||:
    ::Depressed : Class : Poetry :
     Testosterone vs Estrogen
    :|| V: 948 | C: 4 ||:
    ::Passion : Class : Misc :
     Journey of the Ancient Stars
    :|| V: 865 | C: 3 ||:
    ::Nature : Class : Poetry :
     If I Could Wear Your Skin
    :|| V: 816 | C: 2 ||:
    ::Venting : Class : Poetry :
     Sunrise
    :|| V: 955 | C: 2 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Poetry :
     Jester's Joke
    :|| V: 915 | C: 2 ||:
    ::Satire : Class : Poetry :
     Dumped
    :|| V: 938 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Love : Class : Poetry :
     The Old Man
    :|| V: 837 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
    List All...





    ||| Messages |||
      
    Thanks, Will, for sharing your thoughts on my Bee poem.

    :)
    | Posted on 2007-01-21 13:31:47 | by Vancrown - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    Thanks for the kind words on my poem! And what you did for that lady and her child kind of choked me up. I see there is still some kind people in the world will ing to lend a helping hand! Thanks for that and everything else.
    Kelley Frost
    | Posted on 2007-01-20 23:51:00 | by whendt - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    Re comments: "Make Not of ROCK"

    Thanks for your comment Will. I had considered the option that you mentioned, at the time I composed the piece but, at the time opted for detailing the repetitive line instead of combining those last stanzas

    Thanks again and nice to meet you
    ..........................................

    "I likie,
    Sounds like a pegan prayer,
    maybe if you had combined all of the "Make me not of Rock" in a grand finally instead of repeating the line

    "Make me not of ROCk
    Itís so far to fall
    A mantle of ornaments
    On top of the world

    Make me not of ROck
    So hard to know
    (Too frightened) to talk
    (Unable to grow)

    Make me not of Rock
    Pillar of strength, unforgiving
    With no friends
    (Alone, unliving)

    Make me not of rock
    (Formed relentlessly)
    (Grant) me weakness
    To truly feel
    What life is"

    Like this

    "Make me not of ROCk
    Itís so far to fall
    A mantle of ornaments
    On top of the world
    Pillar of strength, unforgiving
    With no friends
    (Alone, unliving)
    So hard to know
    (Too frightened) to talk
    (Unable to grow)
    (Formed relentlessly)
    (Grant) me weakness
    To truly feel
    What life is"

    I really like it the way it is but this also may be an option.
    Nice Write,
    Will"
    | Posted on 2007-01-20 22:02:40 | by danativ - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
    all the best for 2007, hope its good to you!!
    | Posted on 2006-12-31 00:00:00 | by whirl - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    Merry Christmas to you!!!
    | Posted on 2006-12-23 00:00:00 | by lmz - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    hey, you been gone ages!!
    thank you for the comment, as always, it's appreciated.
    how ya doin'?
    michelle
    | Posted on 2006-12-22 00:00:00 | by whirl - [ Reply to This ] -



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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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