--Elite Writer Alias: WhatYouWill Name: Jane Q. Public ASL: --/Female/Gallawump Website:[ Website ] Days Away: 36 Life Story: Nothing to say here. [ Ignore User ]
Favorites: 7 Forum Posts: 20 Shoutbox Posts: 0 RP Posts: 14 Signup Date: 3565 D 9.77 Years 0.98 Decades 118.83 Months 509.29 Weeks 3.565000e+8 Heart Beats -There you go eggman Quote: I beseech you heartily, scurvy, lousy knave, at my desires, and my requests, and my petitions, to eat, look you, this leek.
'ravaging crow' is not a haiku, nor is it meant to be one. I was not going for any certain number of syllables. It was just something that wrote itself. It is terse and harsh, but somewhat compelling, and I felt like posting it.
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment on it. :3
Actually "Willow" is about the need for romance , and finding love , and all the torrid stormy weather this can bring . As for deleting the rhyme I rarely write blank verse . Call me old fashioned but I think poetry should rhyme . I'm glad you had an affinity for windswept waterfall . At least I've got some redeeming grace . I'll read some of your posts and see if a comment comes up .
Your profile pic I find it so cute in a weird way hehe.Artful and simplistic.Thank you and I highly take your commentary serious.The only reason I use asterisks is because I rather be known for them.But I can also understand why they trip you out based on them not being commonly used really, they way I do.I thought about leaving them out for NS at first just because the thought of someone not liking them and being thrown off.
I like the way you deliberate and construct your critiques with time more so than compliment there, here, there and over.
*Bows* Again your thoughts and suggestions are appreciated.
Have a good one Jane
Thanks for the comment on \"internal composition\" -- where you suggested bringing back the lily imagery was meant to subtly allude to lilies (opening/folding) -- maybe this could be a little more concrete.
Overall, I do think the piece could be a little more. So tweak, tweak. . .