--Elite Writer Alias: Zara Name: Eva S ASL: 16,Female, U.S. Bio: [ Quick Bio ] Website:[ Education ] Days Away: 20 Life Story: Ups and Downs... [ Ignore User ]
Favorites: 8 Forum Posts: 4 Shoutbox Posts: 0 RP Posts: 4858 Signup Date: 439 D 1.2 Years 0.12 Decades 14.63 Months 62.71 Weeks 4.39000e+7 Heart Beats -There you go eggman Quote: "I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it!"
I... This is so hard... I got caught while I was on the phone with Brandon and now my parents have taken away the computer cable, my cell phone and most of my freedom.... They're scared because they don't know if they can trust that he isn't dangerous... Even though I know he's not...
It hurts me so much that this might be it... I... I still love him and have feelings for him... but in some things they have said.... they are right... I never thought to ask if he was a believer or not - something else that upset them...
I have been drifting in a way I guess... But that wouldn't be entirely my fault - my parents have too. They've put sports before God... (Although I don't like sports)... So I can't go to church if I don't have a ride... But that's not an excuse...
They were scared, but more than anything, upset that I lied to them... My dad said that he might have been okay with it if he got to talk to Brandon before.... and if Brandon had asked permission... But I thought for sure that they would be upset at the fact I was even talking to him... or any of my other friends on the web...
I feel a lot of guilt and pain... and I'm trying very hard to forgive myself. I have a lot of trust to earn back... and about two years to do it before I'm off to college... There is no break between high school and college for me...
I just hope Brandon is okay... I don't want to break up with him... Far from it... but... As things stand right now... it is probably for the best... Which... knowing that - hurts more than anything else right now...
Some of you may not want to read this next part... It's a prayer....
God Who art in heaven -
Forgive me for the lies and deciets I thought were necessary at the time... And thank you for that forgiveness. Help me to earn the forgiveness of my parents... And help me to forgive myself... Give me the strength to keep going... Help me to come back to you...
You have blessed me in so many ways... but You have decided that this is for the best... Please let Your will be done as You ordain it...
If Brandon and I are meant to be together, then You will work it out that way... But for now, I will trust in you and pray daily for Your guidance.
Lord please forgive me for the time I started to drift... And pull me back to You.
In Jesus' Name, Amen.
- From my physical journal.
I have prayed this prayer often since I first got caught...
I don't know how quickly I can heal from this... but I'll be trying... I need to be there for my friends... So... for now... It'll have to be tucked away from some... but at least my good friends will know... and Brandon too...
Also... I'm on a school computer... so there is a limit to how much time I have.... I can only get on for a few minutes each day until June 10th... After that... I'm pretty much gone until next year...
No need to thank me or apolpgize for anything my ANghel, of course I'm going to understand, and of course I'm still going to care, I'm always going to love you, always. *hugs yuo tightly and kisses your forehead* We'll always be ehre for each other, I know we will, so lets just both be ahppy and move on the best we can, because no matter what, I'm still going to do everything that I can to see you happy Eva. hehe
It is partially my fault sicne I knew I should have just intruduced myself to your parents...but...whats done is done, and I know you'll always be here for me, as well as I will always be here for you, and thats a promise Eva, always. *hugs you tightly* No crying....lets just do our best to move on...either way, we'll both be here for each other, and thats all that matters. I understand if you'll be gone for a while...make sure your parents know that I never meant for it to be this way and they have my apologies. I'm always going to be here for you Eva, always.
Eva, maybe you could talk to your parents...and tell them that I do still want to talk to them....to apologize for getting you into trouble...I take blame...i did want to ask permission...but, I dont know...i wasnt thinking right. I never meant for all of this to happen, and I want to meet your parents the right way...to tell them it was my fault. I'm sure they'll forgive for the lie, everyone makes mistakes, and they're your family, and no matter how they are, I know that they will. I wont try to force you to do anything, but...maybe if you talked to them....tell them that i wished to speak to them, to apologize and introduce myself the right way, which I should have done it in the beginning....maybe....things could work out now, and earlier then you think? I'm sorry for all of this...
)
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no more sadness, lets just be happy, ok?
