Reflective eyes stare out through salted emotion,
perfectly paired with lips that tremble and implore.
Determined for her heart to cease it's devotion,
the girl loses hope as she crumbles to the floor.
And every time you message me, I almost fall over backward in shock. Then again, I'm just as guilty. But yeah, the forum was down for the longest time, now it is completely caput. Chat ruined it. Now all we have are a bunch of children way past their bed times making random text blurbs like "baaaaahhhmaaaaa" and similar garbage in arbitrary incriments at 3 in the morning. I mean, why bother visiting a forum to have a discussion when you can just sit back and enjoy something like "muh! lolmfao i like pop tarts! bahh!"
I agree funeral procession has been used before,Im well aqquainted with the phrase,but I calling it cliché is a little harsh,especially if you think it works in the overall context.
Its not exactly "broken heart" or "crimson blood".Just because youve heard something before doesnt mean its cliché.
But anyway,theres another thing:
the second stanza was about the Irish government,as in "boffins",it had little to do with classes as such,mainly referring to whats happening in my country at the moment where it looks as though well be ousting our current leaders.
So its not un-realistic,they are afraid.
I must agree however on punctuation,its something I need to incorperate better,so thank you for the tip.