--Elite Writer Alias: blackdemigod13 Name: Website:[ Website ] Days Away: 1522 Life Story: [ Ignore User ]
Favorites: 0 Forum Posts: 1 Shoutbox Posts: 1 RP Posts: 76 Signup Date: 4051 D 11.1 Years 1.11 Decades 135.03 Months 578.71 Weeks 4.051000e+8 Heart Beats -There you go eggman
Teen moms do go through a lot, yes.
Thank you for recognizing that.
Many people may insult them, but in the end
a lot of it wasn't really all their fault.
Please, continue to spread the light in the dark.
-With love ~Augustus Marie~
You're a very kind person, it seems.
Usually, one wouldn't have a second thought about others.
Our poems what we jot down, filled with words, dripping with thoughts and feelings.
You pay attention, and try to relate.
Maybe that is what some people need,
just a bit of attention.
Please, may you be forever loved and enjoy the world as It was meant to be enjoyed.
- With love, ~Augustus Marie~
You're a very kind person, it seems.
Usually, one wouldn't have a second thought about others.
Our poems what we jot down, filled with words, dripping with thoughts and feelings.
You pay attention, and try to relate.
Maybe that is what some people need,
just a bit of attention.
Please, may you be forever loved and enjoy the world as It was meant to be enjoyed.
- With love, ~Augustus Marie~
thnak you for your words on my narrative about 9/11. it's crazy how so many people from all different walks in life were affected by that event, and some still are today.
Yeah, I know what those words mean. I also know what a triplet is. But I don't know where you got the idea from that it doesn't have to make sense. Everything you write has to make sense to some extent. It's not that I didn't understand what you wrote it's more a question of why you wrote it. The problem I see is in the last line as it doesn't add anything to the poem and it doesn't offer any closure at all. Here, so you get an idea, I will only change one word in it, just to show you that this might work with some tuning:
Agent Gibbs reads his tag
His gun is always loaded just check his mag
Sometimes he keeps drugs in his bag
:D There, see? This way it leaves the reader with something to think about.
)
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