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    poetry


    --Elite Writer
    Alias: edthepoet
    Name: Edward Deputy
    ASL: 47-m-Pa
    Website:[ Education ]
    Days Away: 2717
    Life Story: Summarize.
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    Signup Date: 4977 D
    13.64 Years 1.36 Decades
    165.9 Months 711 Weeks
    4.977000e+8 Heart Beats
    -There you go eggman
    Quote:
    In life we learn to read and write, when we don't we remain ignorance

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    Featured:
    The making of a Wife Beater


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    Journal: a funny story
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Crazy
      
    From a guys point of view......

    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

    FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

    Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

    I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
    dear, let's go to the cashier."

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"

    I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.,lol

    This wasn't written by me


    ...Created 2006-04-06 11:56:53     [ View Past Journals ]

    [ View as Blog ]

    dotsLast 20 Submissionsdots

    Featured: The making of a Wife Beater

     Relentless White Lines
    :|| V: 721 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Dark : Class : Poetry :
     Asking the Impossible
    :|| V: 1597 | C: 14 ||:
    ::Love : Class : Poetry :
      Painting a self-portrait
    :|| V: 1251 | C: 18 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Poetry :
     Defenseless Mother
    :|| V: 1409 | C: 24 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Haiku :
     Stained-glass Of Self-worth
    :|| V: 1485 | C: 15 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Poetry :
     Kissing thoughts of You
    :|| V: 1583 | C: 19 ||:
    ::Love : Class : Poetry :
     The Human Race
    :|| V: 1294 | C: 21 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Poetry :
     Little Chocolate Bomber
    :|| V: 2852 | C: 21 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Poetry :
     George,George, George of the Jungle
    :|| V: 1482 | C: 23 ||:
    ::Comedy : Class : Story :
     INVOKING OUR COMMON SENSES
    :|| V: 1580 | C: 14 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
     Dear Terri Schiavo
    :|| V: 1803 | C: 18 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Poetry :
     A Wishful Love Poem
    :|| V: 1544 | C: 13 ||:
    ::Love : Class : Poetry :
     A WOMAN OF FAITH
    :|| V: 1447 | C: 18 ||:
    ::Love : Class : Poetry :
     What Shall You Do
    :|| V: 1369 | C: 14 ||:
    ::Love : Class : Poetry :
     Angels of the Sea
    :|| V: 1624 | C: 17 ||:
    ::Friendship : Class : Poetry :
     I Dreamt of Her
    :|| V: 1538 | C: 12 ||:
    ::Love : Class : Poetry :
      Born with the wrong Shadow
    :|| V: 1429 | C: 21 ||:
    :: : Class : Poetry :
     The End of Time is Near
    :|| V: 1421 | C: 10 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
     We Are Invisible Ink
    :|| V: 1441 | C: 16 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Misc :
     Imperfect love/ repost
    :|| V: 1568 | C: 13 ||:
    ::Love : Class : Poetry :
    List All...





    ||| Messages |||
      
    PS I am going to share it on my FB I hope you dont mind I found it hilarious and think many would enjoy reading it...stormy
    | Posted on 2012-01-30 14:54:29 | by stormyskies - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    I am laughing so hard reading your journal entry that is just pricless..thanks for sharing it.. :D
    | Posted on 2012-01-30 14:51:53 | by stormyskies - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    Yo Ed! What's up? It's Xtremegentleman reincarnated. I decided to come back and play around with some of the old friends. Hope all is well...


    BP
    | Posted on 2009-06-14 06:22:33 | by Brianpoem - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    Happy Friday, ed!
    | Posted on 2009-05-22 06:27:33 | by latentlylyrical - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    HI!!!! it's been so long since I've been on here. i hope you have been doing well. i wish that i could catch you on yahoo sometime. so much that we need to really catch up on.
    | Posted on 2009-04-28 22:01:52 | by manda_bear - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    Hello ed! I hope you and yours are doing well.
    | Posted on 2009-04-28 09:26:31 | by latentlylyrical - [ Reply to This ] -



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