--Elite Writer Alias: endlessgame23 Name: Edith Gilead ASL: 25/f/The Endless Table Website:[ Website ] Days Away: 3 Life Story: Which Life? [ Ignore User ]
Favorites: 10 Forum Posts: 0 Shoutbox Posts: 0 RP Posts: 0 Signup Date: 74 D 0.2 Years 0.02 Decades 2.47 Months 10.57 Weeks 7.400000e+6 Heart Beats -There you go eggman Quote: I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity. -EAP
Journal: Silent Hill -------------------------------------------
Mood: so volcanic I've got yellowstone worried
When all is silent
'cept the air, hot
redolent with noxious
then is the time
to peek over your
and watch with starry eyes
as explosive ash
and careless gods
consume the skies.
Thanks for the favorite. I reckon that's one of the best ones I have gotten down for a while. Thanks for the affirmative.
Thanks also for the comment. I think I'm trying to reanimate a feeling and I would love for ppl to find it there each time on a page. In that sense the poet v surgeon thing is not really important (to me) it's just a tool i used (attempted) to get across my point.
For me the emotion is the hard thing, the thing of wonder and i'm just some hit and miss dude who acts as a recorder. Glorified recorder....
not that there is much glory in this.
Hey...thank you much for your comments on Desayuno Serenade. Sometimes, the mind can wander to (once) beautiful places. Memories can be priceless - a free of charge, time traveling trip. The interesting thing for me is what sparks the journey - what little flutter to the senses will set things in motion? And once immersed...you are somewhere else...if only for an moment - it's still enough to conjure the once present.
Hey, thanks for the comment. Kind of limited by our abilities -and our abilities to put things on a page or even articulate so it's often you get a whole lot of something converged on just one little bit. Just grateful for the parts i am able to say - when i am able to say it.
well, i don't care that much about titles. I guess I cover some of my poems up and when I go back sometimes they will demand the same title and the same song. Sometimes I have forgotten both > that's a good indicator that the poem itself needs some work because it should always hold its essence. but tut tut tut on your tic tic tic.
i tend to think of poems as more important and potentially having the ability to last in the memory longer than movies, look at Shakespeare, his poems move across the generations
therefore i don't mind a clash with the movies.
I think that your journal, with the inclusions of rhyme is better than anything of yours I have seen posted. (to be fair I have only clicked on a few and they have been rhymed ones).
I like how the wording comes across as precision. I mean precision as opposed to precise because
redolent with noxious
these are very careful words with short sharp bits to them and then as you elaborate, as the poem moves forward, it's then that you do so work with the rhyming deal. It's like you give to poetry, the exploratory part of it, legs.
To me the part that lifts the poem most is the single line away from the block. It introduces a totally different viewpoint/concept. She is free. Like this peak point in turmoil lifts her from her guardianship.
That poem is excellent.
I was trying to write a bit today.... bringing a storm to good weather.
That facet of poetry is excellent, finding the unexpected.
My point is your deconstruction of the roles of the sky, your reverse engineering. That is some good shite to see on a page.