--Elite Writer Alias: explosions Name: emanaton mynoduesp ASL: -237.6995/she/the library Bio: [ Quick Bio ] Website:[ Website ] Blog:[ Blog ] Days Away: 24 Life Story: "i bleed" by pixies [ Ignore User ]
Favorites: 8 Forum Posts: 13 Shoutbox Posts: 2 RP Posts: 0 Signup Date: 847 D 2.32 Years 0.23 Decades 28.23 Months 121 Weeks 8.47000e+7 Heart Beats -There you go eggman Quote: language was invented so people could lie.
Journal: just like us -------------------------------------------
Mood: whatev
worms worms
their dried, flattened bodies
coiled on the sidewalk,
curlicues
like seahorse tails in a sea of concrete
i keep my eyes on the ground,
afraid of stepping on these carcasses,
once alive and squirming;
afraid of leaving a brown smear,
smudging upon my so(u)le --
but there are some things more important than fear
so i look up to the sky,
note the clouds sprawling across the wide expanse of turquoise,
see the bird my friend points to with an outstretched finger,
like adam to god
like that beloved extraterrestrial
what's dead is dead
i'll remember the worms, but
i see living
http://www.writerscafe.org/writers/Jason_Morales/
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=512381431
You can find me at both. I've had enough of the general emo-ness and stuckup elitism of this place. Website suits its name... how ironic... that it took so long to finally go "FARK IT".
p.s. this bit:
can't see,
can't you SEE
i don't like the repetition, and the SHOUTING grates... a bit emo, y'know? haha, just my first thoughts in that bit.
glad you noticed the synaesthesia... i'm very synaesthetic, actually...
i agree with you about 'follicles'... rhythmically it trips me up. 'bubbling' i'll keep though, if only for the triple 'b' alliteration i have in that line. yup.
Hey, thanks so much for your thoughts on 'compilation'. I have never grouped poems together before, and needed opinions if it works or not. I am not happy with it as I re-read the pieces over again. Monies is an actual word (heheh)but I changed the other error and am considering a title change. I really do appreciate your time, consideration, and ideas. Seriously.