Journal: vanerability
-------------------------------------------Mood: holding out for the unknowen
its amazing how in a short bit of time or even one event can change or alter everything you thought was rite in ur life such as love(blindly followed), pain(inflicted by self), Change (growing perhapes leaving), well iam used to this dance, this tango of my life, chooseing(never really having them but them having me) the rite person, the rite path it all comes down to this moment of truth(not the white lies you tell with a fake smile on your face)this second of remorse for not only your self but every person walking on this misierble hell we call a home. Am i over reacting? perhapes,but i'm not shuting my eyes not this time i can't i've turned my back so many times...i let myself become vanerable to the darkness that just seems to be creeping its out, going in so many directions that i feel like my soul is riped in peices. I'm pleding...i'am on my knees begging for just a milisecond of releaf from it all. I've loved, I've obvesily lost and i'am just afraid this is the last time, Iam wonded in the middle of my path, shot down by my own emotions and i ask where does this leave me? well now i know, it leaves me alone! loved isn't the word love is i love not loved. I guess i'm just loco for even trying to persue when my own happiness is on the line, but i was happy when the blade went across my skin, i was happy when i could feel the sting of someones hand aginst my cheek, i was happy knowing that no matter what i had at least one person who understands, and now because of my own selfishness i've probley lost and here i am again in shadows holding my hand out, the question now is if the person i would gladly give my own life for going to take it?
...Created 2007-03-14 13:37:39 [ View Past Journals ] [ View as Blog ] |
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