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    --Elite Writer
    Alias: Katrinagolden
    Name: Karen S.
    ASL: 27/F/chicago
    Website:[ Education ]
    Days Away: 171
    Life Story: searching for utopia
    [ Ignore User ]

    Favorites: 110
    Forum Posts: 1
    Shoutbox Posts: 0
    RP Posts: 0
    Signup Date: 4895 D
    13.41 Years 1.34 Decades
    163.17 Months 699.29 Weeks
    4.895000e+8 Heart Beats
    -There you go eggman
    To be or not to be, that is the question


    MSN: idle_utopia@hotmail.com
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    Recent Favorites:
    A Palette for You by ladydeathstrike
    Illusion? by shiroihana
    Mistaken identity by Urisen
    A Lost Paradise by charmedidentity
    If I am the Apple of... by charmedidentity
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    Walking Heavy

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    Currently Stalking: Wisdom Seeker, charmedidentity, ladydeathstrike

    Mood: The Usual
    I'd like to get to know my mother. She's a complete stranger to me. I've cast her as the villain in my story. Part of this is her fault, she has fit the role quite easily. Part of this is my fault, since I've tacked some of my shortcomings on to her.

    Regardless, I'd like to get to know her. I want to see who she truly is behind all the noise. She seems so strange to me at times. It's unfair how I treat her but its reactive. I don't give her the benefit of her opinion anymore because she's hurt me in the past, with only her words. In my mind, I imagine a scenario and assign her her dialogue (based on past interactions). I don't know if she would ever sway away from this performance but so far she has fit the role to a tee.

    I've cast her as the villain and its hard to give her another role. Does she deserve it? Am I being dramatic? Does she deserve better? Probably yes.

    However, I'm weak and I need defense. Sometimes I feel like we're in a dictatorship in my home, everyone is a prisoner of the whims of this one person. Its exhausting to guess what mood she will be in and how it'll affect those around her. She seems to hold no consideration for her words, and hurls them at you even if you're defenseless. I've seen the damage of her words, of her moods or her sole presence.

    I don't hold many happy memories to her and the ones that I do are deeply cherished. Sometimes I feel like I do hate her and I wonder how exaggerated i'm being. I wonder why I can't be fair and wonder how hard it must be deal with me too. Am I causing her to be this way? Would life be better for them without me there?

    ...Created 2018-02-01 15:50:00     [ View Past Journals ]

    [ View as Blog ]

    dotsLast 20 Submissionsdots

    Featured: Walking Heavy

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     If I lost you
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     The commodity of fear
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     Featured workWalking Heavy
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     Death stands by my door
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     As I Lay Dying
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     The Evolution of the Guiltless
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     times in anguished thoughts
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     Learn to Use Your Feet
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     Cry To the World
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     as of yet untitled
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     And there she goes.....
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     To love and to lose
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     Totus anctus
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     The Victim
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     existence without essence
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     Death be not proud
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    List All...

    ||| Messages |||
    am I the wizard? cause I can be... if you want me to be.... :-)
    | Posted on 2012-12-10 21:49:37 | by ladydeathstrike - [ Reply to This ] -
    Thanks karina for your very kind comments about my poem!

    | Posted on 2012-11-10 17:28:08 | by annie0888 - [ Reply to This ] -
    Hey, thanks for the appreciation of the comment. I hope to hear from the author maybe, if not, that's okay, but I'm glad someone liked it.

    I deliberately nicked up the last haiku, for appropriate reasons. :)

    Edit: Ha, nevermind, she did reply, it was just below your comment on my page lol.
    | Posted on 2012-11-10 13:44:02 | by Dolor - [ Reply to This ] -
    Thanks for letting me know you liked the poem about an imaginary friend. It is difficult to reveal personal secrets (if that is one, and not just another story!) but when we do, we find that others have much the same sorts of private experiences!
    | Posted on 2012-07-29 21:49:38 | by Glen Bowman - [ Reply to This ] -
    I'm glad you got to read "A Lost Paradise". Sorry if I confused you. I did use an indirect metaphor for two things. I compared the tale of explorers concquering unexplored lands to turn them into cosmopolitan cities with a man attempting to change a woman into something she is not. The last stanza was more of a realization that due to him changing her, she is no longer what he fell in love with.

    I hope that answers some of your question and if it's still not clear, I'm going to change the structure, hoping that it's a bit clearer.

    Thanks for your input. I always appreciate your thoughts.

    | Posted on 2012-07-20 08:22:44 | by charmedidentity - [ Reply to This ] -
    hi Karen...

    and thanks for the comments on "Demolition 10"---

    and you just figure out what the poem means to you the reader, don't worry about me...

    again i appreciate the read, and re-reads.
    | Posted on 2012-07-11 21:56:34 | by jacoberin - [ Reply to This ] -

    Format Text?

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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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