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    poetry


    --Elite Writer
    Alias: keestu
    Name: tappali keestu
    ASL: 32/male/Sydney
    Bio: [ Quick Bio ]
    Website:[ Website ]
    Days Away: 54
    Life Story: GOD I AM....
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    Quote:
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    Featured:
    Lana



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    Journal: The last entry
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Depressed
      
    My first journal and my last entry. All of which is the same. A dream never comes true and love is just a dream. Real spiritual love is all that I find in myself and in none. Why is it that life is not for me to live... Why is it that a defective piece yet tries to survive with what it knows... Maya .... A dream that can never come true


    ...Created 2009-08-06 08:05:54     [ View Past Journals ]

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    dotsLast 20 Submissionsdots

    Featured: Lana

     Featured workLana
    :|| V: 512 | C: 0 ||:
    ::Love : Class : Poetry :
     In this life so empty
    :|| V: 771 | C: 0 ||:
    ::Longing : Class : Poetry :
     Tears of an angel
    :|| V: 572 | C: 0 ||:
    ::Longing : Class : Poetry :
     I close my eyes Finale
    :|| V: 533 | C: 2 ||:
    ::Longing : Class : Misc :
     Can you see me
    :|| V: 708 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Longing : Class : Poetry :
     Row shall I
    :|| V: 880 | C: 0 ||:
    ::Longing : Class : Poetry :
     Betrayal
    :|| V: 1075 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Romance : Class : Poetry :
     Can you hear me
    :|| V: 718 | C: 0 ||:
    ::Longing : Class : Poetry :
     The loathing eyes
    :|| V: 1243 | C: 0 ||:
    ::Longing : Class : Poetry :
     I close my eyes
    :|| V: 851 | C: 2 ||:
    ::Longing : Class : Poetry :
     Sacrifice
    :|| V: 697 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Sorry : Class : Poetry :
     Greed
    :|| V: 740 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Betrayal : Class : Poetry :
     so did my eyes see
    :|| V: 548 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Depressed : Class : Poetry :
     I saw her cry
    :|| V: 733 | C: 0 ||:
    ::Depressed : Class : Poetry :
     Insanity
    :|| V: 739 | C: 1 ||:
    ::The pain inside : Class : Poetry :
     Intoxication
    :|| V: 558 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Death : Class : Poetry :
     Destruction
    :|| V: 685 | C: 0 ||:
    ::Depressed : Class : Poetry :
     Despair
    :|| V: 1006 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
     Emptiness
    :|| V: 579 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Dark : Class : Poetry :
     Solitude
    :|| V: 661 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Alone : Class : Poetry :
    List All...





    ||| Messages |||
      
    Though I know someone such as you won't care, I take personal offense to some of your comments as a female, and professional offense to your comments on poetry when what you write are clearly prime examples of "forced rhyme" which you so automatically accuse others of. A prime example? "fight did the legend" (and might I add, lack of title punctuation does not show creativity. It shows either haste or laziness. I will not speculate which specific cause it was.) Does this make you an idiot? Not alone, but your combined misogyny and hypocrisy does. Note: if I hadn't seen so many of your negative comments on smatterings of pages across the site (some poems I liked and some poems I did not were commented on, most of them with "FORCED RHYME" sans explanation on them where I found either minimal or no evidence) I wouldn't be posting this, so don't you dare try to use this as another example of (and I quote) "women being [censored]es by default." That's like me saying "men are insensitive dicks by default." Yeah there are some examples of that, but a.) it's a sweeping, ridiculous generalization, and b. ) it's simply not true. There are many kind, sweet, and even amusing females around, and I would like to say that if you haven't met any of them, you might want to get off the damn laptop and out into reality.

    And when you criticize poetry or any manner of written word, don't use cookie-cutter commentary. It doesn't matter if you like it or not, just don't post the same thing all over the place. And come on, it doesn't make you look tough or intellectual. It's thoughtless and an insult to the authors of the works.

    Nevertheless, I won't descend into name-calling, although if I do say so myself, you've certainly proved yourself... well, never mind.


    Slainte,

    DW
    | Posted on 2009-11-11 15:23:30 | by Shadowstar13 - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    Thank you for your comment on my poem, Puddle of empty.

    I do try to hold my head up, but it is rather hard. Momentary pleasure only falls to deeper hurt in the end, as if happiness is a betrayal of my soul.

    Some stupid fellow, as you say, is not just some stupid fellow.

    Don’t you see, im still defending her. And to you. I don’t even know you, you didn’t ask for my story, and I feel tormented into defending myself and her honor to you.

    All I want is to forget her, forever - At least until my 18th birthday. But I cannot because I tried, and I cam e very close to forgetting, but getting myself into drugs to dull the pain.
    But then by some tormented set of circumstances, my mother, found out about us, and being the total homophobe, separated us, refuses to even let us see each other, and thinks she may even press charges, not solely because she is 18, but because the thought of her daughter dating a girl makes her sick.

    That is where I get the lines:

    “I cannot forget you
    When my every action reflects you
    And I am still dying to protect you”

    Because if I obey my mother, straighten up my act, and stop fooling around with girls, stop being stupid, and basically become her mindless clone, she may let my ex grow up without the title, “sexual predator”.

    Sorry for the stupid explanations,
    Channie
    | Posted on 2009-11-09 06:52:32 | by dthforeverpain8 - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    Hello dear Runes...

    1. yes I am the same dick head who uses the same words "forcibly rhymed" as all the idiots have that as a primary problem...What to do...I do not waste time rephrasing...
    2. I do not hide under any name neither have the time to.
    3. Women are [censored]es by default. All they want is money. You need entertainment then why not see yourself hit by a bus...good idea na..try it tomorrow itself.
    4. Sure my love I shall teach you how to write a poem as a poem and not as some few words written for the sake of writing. (which I might add that I did before and stopped doing it.) And over that you have an excuse that thats why you roll. Roll yourself down the drain first.
    5. My dick is doing quite well. I see you are very well concerned of it. I am famished. Wow..super.. A lady has a gutter of words just lying there to pop up. I can even see a poem in what you commented. Superb Bravo
    | Posted on 2009-11-07 11:50:55 | by keestu - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    Yes, I remember... you're that thing that pops up every 2-3 months when it feels like someone thumped it's little dick out of the way. You use the same comments, and you drag that "forcibly rhymed" thing out each time... What do you mean by that? Or, do you just cling to that "forced rhyme" like a bad speller clings to "I writ frum the haert???" as what... dick protection?

    If you ever bothered, which I see you don't by checking "latest critique", ELAINING what you meant, or how to make something better, it might be different... but not you. You're that every-2-months-or-so-blip who hides under some other name and does WHAT?

    Tell me how to make it better. Tell me how to UNforce it. Show me that big beaver-slap dick ego of yours, boy, and come on out for round 2 before next month. Just tell mommy you need some extra computer time to talk to Allah, and bring that arab [censored]stick mentality of yours back through, and for once, REALLY give me something here. Not cliché b.s. which you've adapted as "Commentary". Or, do YOU spell it Cummontury" you dumb Jane-licking dryhole [censored] you?
    | Posted on 2009-11-07 08:51:56 | by Runes - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    Thank you so much for your comment... Yes, it's simple, and it rhymes... That's how I roll.

    But, I can assure you, mon cher, a woman doesn't just want money... how blind you are not to see, but let me enlighten you. I for instance, yes, want money... but there are things more important than money, such as entertainment. For instance, I'd rather see a fvckhead stupid man get hit by a bus at a high speed and die, than buy me a drink. I can buy myself a drink, after all, but watching a senseless breed tool bodily snap against the trauma force of a bus grill? Mmmmmm, can't put a price on that.

    I'd rather see you castrated, than have $50. That proves, I'm not ALL about money... Maybe you should go do some "hart-writing" and show a girl how not to FORCE it in... how does yours slip in, for instance? Is it pre-greased?

    Is Totojane05 your retarded sister or something, or do you just make yourself a Patron of Duhhhh out of.... ????
    | Posted on 2009-11-07 08:44:50 | by Runes - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    You do have beautiful eyes, btw...
    | Posted on 2009-09-25 19:38:19 | by Runes - [ Reply to This ] -



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