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Name: lorethriel mithrendel
ASL: 20/f/usa
Website:[ Website ]
Days Away: 5595
Life Story: boreing
[ Ignore User ]

Favorites: 4
Forum Posts: 0
Shoutbox Posts: 0
RP Posts: 0
Signup Date: 6443 D
17.65 Years 1.77 Quote:

Recent Favorites:
A Tale of Death by Ali Marie
Keys by Ali Marie
Pictures by Ali Marie
Theory of Relativity by Alexandra
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The elven lady

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Featured: The elven lady

 Hara Kiri: A Samurai's Honor
:|| V: 1110 | C: 5 ||:
::Death : Class : Poetry :
 A Hunter's Prize
:|| V: 1170 | C: 4 ||:
::Misc : Class : Poetry :
 The Harvester
:|| V: 807 | C: 0 ||:
::Dark : Class : Story :
 I Love you
:|| V: 812 | C: 1 ||:
::Misc : Class : Poetry :
 Mind Wanderer
:|| V: 912 | C: 2 ||:
::Misc : Class : Poetry :
 Daddy's Little Girl
:|| V: 1029 | C: 1 ||:
::Happy : Class : Poetry :
 Featured workThe elven lady
:|| V: 1155 | C: 0 ||:
::Misc : Class : Poetry :
 The Sorrowful Heart
:|| V: 1147 | C: 1 ||:
::Love : Class : Poetry :
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Thank you for the constructive criticism, I'll take some of your points into consideration, but I'd like to point something out to you.

This is the comment you left me:

Well, since you like constructive critisim, here ya go. The whole thing has no flow, rythmn, rhymn, or structure. It makes no since and leads no where. It seems to me that it has a few fancy words and nothing else to make it sound even somewhat interesting. You might want to work on your puncuation some more.
I went to college and had proffessors put A's on my work. I left english with all A's in the class. So I'll be honest with you. This piece would be laughed at if you gave it to a proffessor. If your going to write something, give it your best. Try rewriting it some more when you get the time.

You were ridden with spelling mistakes ( You misspelled rhythm, rhyme, and criticism, punctuation, professor).

You also used the wrong "you're" (you used your).

It makes me wonder what college you attended that would give an "A" to a student who didn't capitalize the word English, as it should be and spelled the word "professor" wrong?

It also makes me question the prestige of the current colleges in America.

What kind of education is our youth getting?

For some reason, it won't let me leave you a comment on your page, so I'll just leave you the comment in this edit:

As you wish.
| Posted on 2008-02-06 15:47:21 | by Renè Magrete - [ Reply to This ] -
my music site is
i will will for sure check out dat poem u guys wrote....what is the title of it?
| Posted on 2008-02-04 16:15:21 | by iaida - [ Reply to This ] -
hey thanks.. i hardly ever get comments so that was a nice surprise. so thanks again.
| Posted on 2008-02-04 01:01:35 | by blackbird - [ Reply to This ] -
thankyou! im glad u enjoyed my poem of death, if interested, i also make music that is very dark like my writings, i can give you the link if you want to hear some.
| Posted on 2008-02-02 22:06:42 | by iaida - [ Reply to This ] -
thanks for the favorites addition!!
| Posted on 2008-02-02 21:28:38 | by Ali Marie - [ Reply to This ] -
thanks for the comment on "rose petals" joanna
| Posted on 2008-02-01 09:11:42 | by heartless_ - [ Reply to This ] -

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