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    poetry


    --Elite Writer
    Alias: lynn marsters
    Name: Lynn Marsters
    ASL: 20/f/canada
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    "I made degenerate art for the religious right on the day that you were born" The Tragically Hip

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    Yahoo: lynnmarsters@yahoo.ca
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    Featured:
    Scarlett Blossoms



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    dotsLast 20 Submissionsdots

    Featured: Scarlett Blossoms

     Commercial Drive
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     Preserve the Fruit
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     I Tried
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     My Will is Tense
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     Scotia McTaco Bank
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     The eyes of the almighty
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    ||| Messages |||
      
    thank you I learn from everyone that reads my work And I will take Your words under advisement
    | Posted on 2007-08-29 23:02:01 | by littlepoet - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    Oh, you poor dear! To thank me so for that completely worthless comment! (On Estoria.) But I know how it goes on ES. Sometimes comments are hard to find and you're just glad somebody said ANYTHING! I'm really sorry that my comment wasn't more helpful. I'm at a loss. mae
    | Posted on 2007-08-24 12:08:52 | by mae - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    don't think you need to junk it, just revise. you've got a good start here, but abstract terms like you use don't evoke anything in the reader. if i'm sad i might say 'waterfalls line my eyes.' if i'm angry i might say 'heart boils over.' whatever you write make sure it's your voice and not cpoying somebody. by the same token it helps to read other poetry (dickenson would be a good place to start) and keep evolving what you're trying to say.

    words are your tools - keep practicing with them.
    | Posted on 2007-08-20 12:55:57 | by joeyalphabet - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    I think you should leave the very last line out and keep it at fall in to the waters it sounds better that way because it sounds like there should be abother stanza with the very last line
    | Posted on 2007-08-16 20:23:12 | by panzyrocker - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    Thanks for the comments on "Hallowed Wall." the fact that it gripped you from the very start was a nice confidence-booster for me in my writing. Thank you.
    | Posted on 2007-08-16 18:50:51 | by Keaton Volkov - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    Thank you again for the kind words for "What we never said".
    There is a more arful way o express what I was thinking, but I am not sure how to go about doing that. If I eer seek publication I will clean it up. Until then, I can just think on it.
    | Posted on 2007-08-16 15:13:22 | by Ignis Fatuus - [ Reply to This ] -



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    January 10 07
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