--Elite Writer Alias: nicodemous Name: Nicodemous Pagee ASL: 7-5-82/M/Hell Website:[ Website ] Days Away: 74 Life Story: born, and will die [ Ignore User ]
Favorites: 2 Forum Posts: 5 Shoutbox Posts: 0 RP Posts: 0 Signup Date: 3400 D 9.32 Years 0.93 Decades 113.33 Months 485.71 Weeks 3.400000e+8 Heart Beats -There you go eggman Quote: Men, I want you to pray like it is up to him (GOD), but I want you to fight like it is up to us.--George Washington
You do have a point. In writing "Angel Down", I was not trying to really raise awareness for the earth. It was more of an effort to capture the essensce of a dying landscape, which could be the result of man, or perhaps simply the changing of the climate in a natural process, etc. etc. Thank you so much for your comment though, it was much appreciated :)
Don't feel bad about saying it falls a little flat, because I sense the same thing about this particular poem; that there is nothing specifically wrong with any of the lines on their own, but that maybe they don't belong together, or something. There is a lack of focus. Then again, this could easily be a reflection of how I am feeling... confused, and scattered.
I tend to be pretty good at editing or revising the work of others but for some reason have trouble doing it to my own. Something I have been trying though is to take a standout line in one piece and add it to another. A collage of sorts might be fun.
Practice does make perfect, and I definitely haven't been writing enough these days.
Thanks again for stopping by. Everyone has a right to comment, and I always appreciate the different perspectives.