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So i'm studying abroad in Florence and way back on the first night here I was hanging out at this Irish bar. There were a lot of attractive girls dressed up to catch a man's eye. At one point I turned around and my eyes came upon a girl who had just entered. My reaction was like "woa..." She was dressed very conservatively and seemed mostly ignored by the guys there...but I was instantly drawn to her.

I've been spending time with her and my feelings for her while we were in Rome with a bunch of other students. Then when we were in venice I realized how powerful and deep my affection for her really was. Venice, city of romance, of all places. I didn't want to feel like this but I can't help it. I'm overwhelmed and when I look into her eyes I am profoundly stirred.

I confessed my affection for her (very romantic and poetic like in person) but she met someone during her visit to Ireland over spring break. So we are friends and i'm trying so very hard to make my feelings platonic...but they are so utterly powerful. The effect she has on me goes against my reason and better judgement but I can't help but be entranced by her. I thought I was immune to this sort of thing. I just saw her walk into the room as i write this and I feel this anxious warmth in my heart. The more I learn about her the more i'm attracted to her.

I don't know if this is "love." after all "love" is just noises and scribbles used to describe a wide and changing range of emotions and connections. However...I must admit I'm terrified of that word "love." I've been in love before and...i'm scared, especially since this girl doesn't have romantic affection for me...or at least to much current knowledge. However the only thing I could compare these incredible emotions to is that which i felt for the girl I fell in love with in the past. I don't want to say I "love" this girl...but i'm not sure how long I can keep denying that is what i feel. Honestly, though I try not to focus on it, I think one could legitimately say I've fallen in love with this girl. Oh the agony is both terrible and wonderful at the same time.