--Elite Writer Alias: ollie_wicked Name: Ollie Wicked ASL: <3 my writing for itnotme Bio: [ Quick Bio ] Website:[ Website ] Days Away: 172 Life Story: Like any other [ Ignore User ]
Favorites: 17 Forum Posts: 1 Shoutbox Posts: 0 RP Posts: 0 Signup Date: 4449 D 12.19 Years 1.22 Decades 148.3 Months 635.57 Weeks 4.449000e+8 Heart Beats -There you go eggman Quote: Find a place to stand, and move the world- my fortune cookie
Its ok. I live for long messages from best friends I haven't had the privilege of speaking to in months.
I understand now, and its fine. I am not mad at you and I haven't been for a long time. I wasn't mad in the beginning because I figured you had a reason but I got mad as time went by because I couldn't think of a reason for you to not want to talk to me and I felt like you were angry at me and I got mad back because I didn't understand. But then I just stopped being mad again because it wasn't helping.
I can understand why sometimes you might think you are better off without me. I won't say I have never thought the same but I have never once really wanted you gone.
And ever since you left, all i wanted was for you to take me back. Every word from you was a weird personal victory.
Take as much time as you need, just don't leave me.
Richard laughed by the way.
It was an important time for me.
It was a huge thing and I hated that I couldn't talk to you about it. I knew you'd be one of the only people who would understand that I had waited and that this wasn't just some thing to me because if it was, i would have done it before.
I thought about calling you. But I couldn't think of a non-dumb way to talk to you.
I never knew you just needed time. I thought you just needed for me to not be around. And I thought that we weren't talking because of madness, not you needing distance. I can understand that better. What I couldn't understand was you just not talking to me, obviously angry, and out of nowhere, not being my friend at all. I didn't get it, I didn't know what to do because I knew you wouldn't want me to try and talk to you about it.
I didn't want to guilt trip you or piss you off or anything like that. I wanted to hit some nerve in you that would make you say something.
All I ever wanted to know was that you would come back.
I know sometimes you don't see it but I need you. I dont need you to love me to the point of craziness or to want me or whatever the [censored] but I need to know that at the end of the day when I am falling apart, the part of you that loves me is still there.
I didn't know that. I didn't know you needed time or space. I thought all you needed was for me to be gone.
I am a loser for writing this. But I was digging through my old stuff trying to find some decent lines (like I do sometimes when I am feeling lame) and I found one of my poems I wrote right after me and Caleb broke up.
And your comment said this at the end. "Cause i'm always here for you, perhaps not like them, but i'll ALWAYs be here, whether or not i like it sometimes, but i'll never leave you. And you'll do fine."
Funny how stuff works out sometimes right?
Once upon a time we thought this friendship would last forever, turns out it cant even span high school.
I sent you the gold on Gaia because I dont get on much anymore and so I decided to send it your way.