Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    --Elite Writer
    Alias: one who rages
    Name: dylan quinn
    ASL: 20 m desmoines iowa
    Bio: [ Quick Bio ]
    Website:[ Education ]
    Days Away: 5325
    Life Story: medicore/fiendish
    [ Ignore User ]

    Favorites: 9
    Forum Posts: 22
    Shoutbox Posts: 40
    RP Posts: 4
    Signup Date: 6207 D
    17.01 Years 1.7 Decades
    206.9 Months 886.71 Weeks
    6.207000e+8 Heart Beats
    -There you go eggman
    Quote:
    we are the new diabolic, we are the bitter bucolic

    nav
    nav

    AIM: ghstb0y8742
    [ Communicate asdf ]

    Recent Favorites:
    My Red October by expiring_touch
    The Fairy Ring by Mimevas Lemqi
    Scorning Angel by Twilight_Dreame
    ...With Trigger by sinmore
    BEAUTY AND THE BEAST by hanuman
    View all Faves

    Featured:
    spoon feed emothions



    [ + RSS ]
    [ + Google It ]
    [ + My Yahoo ]



    Currently Stalking: Restless_Heart

    Journal: fuck me
    -------------------------------------------
    Mood: Sick
      
    ive discovered myspace, its so addicting.... its almost sick it totally goes against everything i stand for; the social networking, the trendy shit.... its aweful... save me from my self


    ...Created 2005-10-19 18:29:31     [ View Past Journals ]

    [ View as Blog ]

    dotsLast 20 Submissionsdots

    Featured: spoon feed emothions

     snake against the stone (parts one and two)
    :|| V: 658 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
     Featured workspoon feed emothions
    :|| V: 849 | C: 4 ||:
    ::Society : Class : Poetry :
     holistic
    :|| V: 957 | C: 2 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
     blacker and bluer
    :|| V: 678 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Poetry :
     untitled
    :|| V: 653 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Poetry :
     horrid
    :|| V: 908 | C: 3 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
     desolver 1.0
    :|| V: 893 | C: 3 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Poetry :
     the self invention of me
    :|| V: 762 | C: 4 ||:
    ::Angry : Class : Poetry :
     the rock and the rose
    :|| V: 1112 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
     dont stop now your killing me
    :|| V: 1478 | C: 6 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Rant :
     and now that dream is gone
    :|| V: 2342 | C: 3 ||:
    ::Depressed : Class : Poetry :
     the fearsome f sharp
    :|| V: 1028 | C: 5 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Poetry :
     dead saint holy
    :|| V: 997 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
     snake against the stone (revision)
    :|| V: 935 | C: 4 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
    List All...





    ||| Messages |||
      
    Yes, I am indeed 13. And no, that pic is not of me. I'm a girl. That is a guitarist from my fave band.

    As for my little story thing, it wasn't supposed to rhyme anywhere. I was unaware that it did. Sorry. xD It was just intended to be something for me to remember my latest boyfriend by. That really is what happened.
    ~Jazzy
    | Posted on 2007-06-22 12:41:10 | by Jazzy - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    You left a very interesting comment chalk full of suggestions. And for that, I thank you. But on two points, how am I supposed to expand a completed piece? And how do I double up rhymes when every single line already has one?

    Did you not see anything cleaver already in each line? I'm pretty shure if you look closely, you'll see something of a global theme.
    Why ask why? (aka who cares?)
    look up at the sky (aka dream)
    you will be taken up high (aka they[your dreams, oh so]'re close/pun on the word "high" as you notice later on I'm talking about a drugy)
    once you leave us (aka get high) and die (to the world)
    and so on and so forth.
    "so you started with a rhyming scheme.
    god bless end rhyme."
    By this did you mean, end with a rhyme? As in make the italicized dialogue rhyme? If that's what you meant, I'll be putting it in the description to avoid further confusion.

    "do some micro work within lines."
    Would some metering work for this ?

    I got the verb tense changing between the first and the second being weird aswell, but it was conflicting with my rhyming scheme, do you have any suggestions for that ?

    Do you think for the metering that doing something along the lines of growing to shrinking would give a pleasant effect ?

    Once again, THANKS.
    Outlaw

    P.S: (like actually a while after I originally wrote this) I gave each strophe it's own specific metering... Something like 6/9/9/7/10.. Give it a look maybe tell me if you think it''s helped the piece.
    | Posted on 2007-06-21 15:26:57 | by Outlaw - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    It's a simple D, so the Da Da Das, are a 4/4 time D tonality, just going through the notes that harmonize with D, doesn't matter what they are. The point of it is that it's nothing that is set in stone, it can be whatever you want it to be. That's why it's the Invisible Beat.
    | Posted on 2007-06-21 14:59:22 | by Imadjinn - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    you think myspace is bad
    try a facebook
    | Posted on 2007-03-06 14:54:25 | by digitalflower - [ Reply to This ] -



    Format Text?


    Forum id=#12673

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry