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    poetry


    --Elite Writer
    Alias: raincloud
    Name: Theodore
    ASL: Central America
    Bio: [ Quick Bio ]
    Website:[ Website ]
    Blog: [ Blog ]
    Days Away: 2724
    Life Story: Freedom.
    [ Ignore User ]

    Favorites: 4
    Forum Posts: 29
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    RP Posts: 18
    Signup Date: 4760 D
    13.04 Years 1.3 Decades
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    4.760000e+8 Heart Beats
    -There you go eggman
    Quote:
    I chew my grass until it becomes more than I expected

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    Recent Favorites:
    Water Cycle by WhatYouWill
    Poem of the Heart by Vancrown
    The Envy of Death by morte
    Midnight Sojourn by Silverdog
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    Featured:
    Tu Mirada



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    dotsLast 20 Submissionsdots

    Featured: Tu Mirada

     Flying
    :|| V: 363 | C: 2 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
     Visions
    :|| V: 390 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Longing : Class : Poetry :
     Featured workTu Mirada
    :|| V: 369 | C: 1 ||:
    ::Love : Class : Poetry :
     Murder
    :|| V: 617 | C: 5 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
     Simplicity
    :|| V: 560 | C: 3 ||:
    ::Nostalgia : Class : Prose :
     Writer's Block
    :|| V: 1071 | C: 8 ||:
    ::Longing : Class : Poetry :
     Eternity's Actions
    :|| V: 876 | C: 2 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
     Of Course
    :|| V: 931 | C: 3 ||:
    ::Misc : Class : Poetry :
     Baptism
    :|| V: 868 | C: 6 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
     The Ensuing Bewilderment
    :|| V: 813 | C: 4 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
     Resurrections
    :|| V: 968 | C: 5 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
     Frozen Naked
    :|| V: 780 | C: 4 ||:
    ::Serious : Class : Poetry :
    List All...





    ||| Messages |||
      
    no problem, there atre parts i think I, as well others who read the poem "murder" reall6y liked. thinking a bit more on it, the ambiguity served to snare myself and others to comment, so that perhaps you might leave it a bit open ended and crazed logically...so there are parts I would not re write..at any rate...there is advice @2 koster
    | Posted on 2010-04-12 12:58:56 | by koster - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    hah thanks so much for reading. yeah i know, i like both versions a lot.i really cant decide which one i like better.

    but thanks for the input.

    peace an love
    | Posted on 2010-03-29 00:23:26 | by Theophilus - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    First off, thank you kindly for viewing my poem and commenting! I always appreciate the feedback.


    The lack of clarity for Plagiarism was indeed intended, but I can clear a few things up. By the by, I also fixed some grammar.


    The Sundays refer to a pause in the week of work for the 'average joe'. The 'Joe' in the poem just so happens to visit an art museum every Sunday, and sits in the same spot, looking at the same pictures. He tells anyone who asks him why he's there, "I will make art like this someday", etc, but fails to as he cannot create anything original.


    It's suppose to capture the monotone of a persons life wherein they've a lack of inspiration and depleting hope. There's a desperation- like rising water. We'd all like to be above it, rather than slosh around in it. Monday is like a crushing reality check to where people should realize how shallow they are, but are often too distracted to. I hope that makes sense.


    I can go on, but, haha, I think I took up enough space on your page! Thanks again.

    Sincerely,
    Kota.
    | Posted on 2010-03-28 23:31:30 | by KotaNashi - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    Uh - I'm not "making this an awesome place to grow as a writer", because it just is anyway. All of us doing it. So thank you too!
    | Posted on 2010-03-28 19:05:55 | by Glen Bowman - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    Uh - I'm not "making this an awesome place to grow as a writer", because it just is anyway. All of us doing it. So thank you too!
    | Posted on 2010-03-28 19:05:11 | by Glen Bowman - [ Reply to This ] -
      
    wow thanks for the very detailed comments on my two new updates. The song cheap sex and cigarettes i totally understand where you are coming from. I actually wrote it a year ago but decided that it should go up. As for the war poem, i'm glad you liked it! But parts do need some work
    | Posted on 2010-03-28 15:38:56 | by caelyn rose - [ Reply to This ] -



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    January 10 07
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