--Elite Writer Alias: remedy bayden Name: Yours Truly ASL: Around. Bio: [ Quick Bio ] Website:[ Website ] Days Away: 2257 Life Story: FlawlessImperfection [ Ignore User ]
Favorites: 6 Forum Posts: 0 Shoutbox Posts: 0 RP Posts: 0 Signup Date: 4266 D 11.69 Years 1.17 Decades 142.2 Months 609.43 Weeks 4.266000e+8 Heart Beats -There you go eggman Quote: Sometimes I don't know what's going to happen, but why should that stop me from living?
Hey there! Thanks for the comment on what was meant to be called 'Circruelation', with that extra 'r' in it, which makes more sense. I wrote this on the evening my girlfriend didn't recognise the song I had wrote for her anymore when I played it to her in the heat of a heavy fight, I can't really explain like this. Anyway, it brought me down bigtime, and I usually don't write poems about a certain feeling or a specific situation, but this time it popped out thanks to how I was feeling at the time. I didn't put in any form of rhyming scheme (at least not consciously), it was basically raw thoughts coming out of me. The 'theme' you want is indeed about how the situation made me feel empty, and literally all the sensations I described in the poem, all related to the malfuntion of my circulatory system.
The second part was more about me steeling myself and trying to burry my raw feelings, my nerves and impulses, faking the reformation of my heart, to withstand the pain, even though it feels wrong to do so.
Thanks for your thoughts, I decided to explain this to you because I also needed to set it straight for myself: As I said I had not thought it through yet. It is a poem I might improve on, also on the areas of flow as you suggested, but it came as such a raw bundle that I didn't think about at all, that part of me just wants to keep it that way.
I do understand where you are comming from that we are able to choose some one (of oppisite sex) to marry and that we are considered "Lucky" but I think america should progress past this closed minded veiw that christianity enforces...