remedy baydenName: Yours Truly ASL: Around. Bio: [ Quick Bio ] Website:[ Website ] Days Away: 3858 Life Story: FlawlessImperfection [ Ignore User ] Favorites: 6 Forum Posts: 0 Shoutbox Posts: 0 RP Posts: 0 Signup Date: 5867 D 16.07 Years 1.61 Quote: Sometimes I don't know what's going to happen, but why should that stop me from living? |
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So I take it your a Breaking Benjamin fan? You should listen to Bullet For My Valentine, they've got some great stuff
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| Posted on 2008-11-06 22:44:08 | by Iffy - [ Reply to This ] - |
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Hey there! Thanks for the comment on what was meant to be called 'Circruelation', with that extra 'r' in it, which makes more sense. I wrote this on the evening my girlfriend didn't recognise the song I had wrote for her anymore when I played it to her in the heat of a heavy fight, I can't really explain like this. Anyway, it brought me down bigtime, and I usually don't write poems about a certain feeling or a specific situation, but this time it popped out thanks to how I was feeling at the time. I didn't put in any form of rhyming scheme (at least not consciously), it was basically raw thoughts coming out of me. The 'theme' you want is indeed about how the situation made me feel empty, and literally all the sensations I described in the poem, all related to the malfuntion of my circulatory system.
The second part was more about me steeling myself and trying to burry my raw feelings, my nerves and impulses, faking the reformation of my heart, to withstand the pain, even though it feels wrong to do so. Thanks for your thoughts, I decided to explain this to you because I also needed to set it straight for myself: As I said I had not thought it through yet. It is a poem I might improve on, also on the areas of flow as you suggested, but it came as such a raw bundle that I didn't think about at all, that part of me just wants to keep it that way. Cheers! -Yony |
| Posted on 2008-03-15 08:46:38 | by -YonY- - [ Reply to This ] - |
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"An Odd Sensation" is about neither of the things you mentioned. My attempt was to outline the fear and joy in love without making it obvious to all. Thanks for reading, though!
~orange |
| Posted on 2008-03-05 09:01:30 | by orange - [ Reply to This ] - |
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Thank You for the comment on A seasons love.
I appreciate the time taken and the effort to give me the confidence to keep writing. |
| Posted on 2008-02-08 06:22:40 | by Jingles - [ Reply to This ] - |
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Well, thank you for the comments on Gay Marriage.
I do understand where you are comming from that we are able to choose some one (of oppisite sex) to marry and that we are considered "Lucky" but I think america should progress past this closed minded veiw that christianity enforces... just some thoughts, Carrie |
| Posted on 2008-02-04 13:34:44 | by dismal_s child - [ Reply to This ] - |
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Thank for the comment, much appreciated.
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| Posted on 2008-01-27 12:28:13 | by girly101 - [ Reply to This ] - |