--Elite Writer Alias: vegetable Name: L. H. ASL: 17/F/MA Website:[ Website ] Blog:[ Blog ] Days Away: 100 Life Story: Oh dear. [ Ignore User ]
Favorites: 1 Forum Posts: 0 Shoutbox Posts: 0 RP Posts: 0 Signup Date: 874 D 2.39 Years 0.24 Decades 29.13 Months 124.86 Weeks 8.740000e+7 Heart Beats -There you go eggman
Thanks for your kind words on "Wellspring". I am not such a big fan of that one, but one of my friends liked it enough to copy it by hand into their notebook. Its one of those pieces that you either get and like, or you don't.
hey.
i've heard my page to be a little overwhelming when it comes to the number of poems on there... i never did get into that deleting as you go phase that most of the people that have been around here as long as i have been in. i appreciate you wanting to check out/reciprocate my words but really... if you want to just pick one and read it and tell me what it makes you feel/think/whatever... no pressure at all. promise.
thanks so much for your comment on Bouquet. I'm so glad that you pointed out that mistake with the Plucking flowers not weeds thing! ill fix that and if there is a poem you want me to comment on just give me the Title in PM and i'll do so. again thanks so much hope all is well.
Hey,
Thank you very much for your comment, you were right about the tenses and i changed them and it sounds alot smoother and really gives a bit of extra kick of emotion at the end when he comes back to the present because its clearer now that hes feeling again right at the moment so the reader is more prone to sympathize with him, at least i think.
But yeah the "ocean of my love" I think I took it for granted that I knew what it was and just assumed people would see it the same way i did. but its actually just a metaphor for the love i am capable of feeling. so "standing at the edge of the ocean of my love" the "standing at the edge" isn't physically standing but mentally and emotinoally its my inner self standing before the vastness of emotion that i am capable of feeling (the ocean) so the next line "i pushed you in, its not my fault you couldn't swim" so in essence i pushed this girl into my "ocean" ( i loved her) and she couldn't swim, so she was one that was afraid to love herself or couldn't love herself so she couldn't appreciate the love someone could have for her or incapable of returning it because they didn't understand their emotions. and its a little more confusing at the end the last stanza when he's at the ocean again, this since in fact though the girl did pass, he stands before himself and the the "throw my roses in the sea" is symbolic of coming to peace with it all, he still loves her cause the last couple lines kinda give the sense that "yeah he'll continue to live on earth but it can't be and will never be the same, because she was the world so when he dies he'll be reunited" and i guess im representing to much with just a few words but i kinda wanted to have this one linger on peoples mind, so i left some for discovering. Im glad you liked it, i just recently feel like i've found my style and i think that piece was very me. Thank you very much
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hey.
