Name: Rachel K
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there is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered - nelson mandela
The Day Rain Fell From Earth To Heaven by rws
be all but gone by blueorchids
Styx and Stones and Yellow Roads by alteredlife
Wind, Conversations with Poets... by alteredlife
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this is for your post "people" (revised)
There is sound in your writing. You can hear it in the placement of your words. It’s not just the alliteration, it’s how the words compare and contrast to one another, how their meanings draw your attention but fall in with the rhythm. And I appreciate it. It makes it more enjoyable for the reader when words make music. Take this line, “The thankless heart selfishly holds back sympathy for a phenomenon commonly seen and cited everyday.”
You start of ‘The thankless’ the ‘th’ sound followed by ‘heart’ with a slight pause because the ‘t’ at the end of heart makes you stop your breath. Then you flow with the alliteration/sound of the letter ‘s’ and the ‘ly’s keep the rhythm. Now the contrasts grab your attention. Take ‘thankless’ and ‘heart’, you don’t associate a heart with being thankless but putting them together makes it poetry. Same with ‘phenomenon’ and ‘commonly’ almost direct opposite meanings placed side by side. You do this often. Whether or not you did it on purpose doesn’t matter a whole lot but im sure it sat right with you.
Each section conveys a character. They are feeling something, your telling me something about the human condition in each section, even though in a couple I don’t know what that is. But I contribute that to my lack of experience. Whenever I don’t understand a metaphor, a symbol, or an emotion I feel like it’s because I haven’t lived enough life to relate to it. So I’ll be coming back to this. Possibly with more feedback.
|| Posted on 2007-03-28 22:40:51 | by charliebrownsw5 - [ Reply to This ] -|
Thanks for the fave on my post. Feel free to comment when you have a few.
|| Posted on 2007-03-06 21:49:38 | by rws - [ Reply to This ] -|
That's the hard part... making it your own somehow, without seeming insane lol.
|| Posted on 2007-03-06 21:02:19 | by alteredlife - [ Reply to This ] -|
I've always said this... but I'm a firm believer in learning the rules... but then... breaking them. Too many people don't want to learn, and they end up looking like ignorant, whiny jerkoffs lol. But to break them... that's where originality lies I think. Or at least by subverting them... rules I mean.
If it doesn't have the usual 'rules', then isn't it more prose, as opposed to a linear story? I've been trying to do short stories for ages, but it always ends up as prose lol. I'm horrible at continued dialogue... and plot-setting in general.
And yea, I went nuts downloading adobe ebooks when I found that site lol.
|| Posted on 2007-03-06 20:41:12 | by alteredlife - [ Reply to This ] -|
That's a good site for forms...
General poetry stuff...
And free adobe ebooks by any famous poet you can think of...
I think you could learn new stuff... I'm kinda anti when it comes to fine art establishments though... sucks the creative juices out of you, and makes you a clone. All it's good for are contacts, and the chance to not look so lonely when you have an exhibition lol.
But writing... I'm a fence-sitter. I like anarchy and order both... freedom and learn-by-numbers learning.
I guess I like them both for different reasons...
|| Posted on 2007-03-06 20:10:02 | by alteredlife - [ Reply to This ] -|
Good luck with your writing course this semester... myself, I'm self-taught (re: the net haha... it has all the info I need)...
And yea, all good
|| Posted on 2007-03-06 19:48:59 | by alteredlife - [ Reply to This ] -|