[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Tuning Up For Deathdots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 59
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1626
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 412

       This piece is about an actual artist, a performance artist called Marina Abramovic. She's done some pretty crazy stuff including flaggelating herself and near suffocation. Here's an article about her: http://www.eyestorm.com/feature/ED2n_article.asp?article_id=38&artist_id=108

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTuning Up For Deathdots

    Every performance is a warm-up for the time that she finally dies,
    but she's been selling this drama,
    this suicide art, for years:
    drugging, cutting and smothering,
    but she pulls back at the strategic moment
    which only disappoints the spectators,
    leaves them wanting more ,
    for dying is the grand finale,
    and these rehearsals are a steady job.

    Submitted on 2004-05-08 02:08:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Oooh, Twisted, definately, but i loved it! It sort of gave an outside feel to it, but that worked well... I love the topic!
    | Posted on 2004-06-02 00:00:00 | by Cai | [ Reply to This ]
      Ni kan shu "Ein Hunger Kunstler". Wo xiang "Ein Hunger Kunstler".

    Sorry, trying to put some oil on my China tongue. A very Kafkaesque subject and take. I wrote 15 pages of a review of "The Hunger Artist" for english comp, but I was stricken by these horrible stomach pains. I went to the hospital and didnt get home until the early morning. When I got home my paper had been erased by a power outage. My prof. failed me and I had to take the class over again. He later told me I sould be a writer, but I still chose business.
    Four years later I looked like the hunger artist. I had lost thirty pounds to get down to 130 and no doctors could understand what the problem was, but the pains would be so bad that all I could do was rake my wrists with my finger nails until they bled.
    The doctors tried telling me that it was heart burn and that I was over reacting. I missed class all the time and lost letter grades because they wouldn't accept heart burn as an excuse for not showing up.

    Then last summer a doctor decided to give me a catscan and found out that my appendix looked like it was ready to burst. But then before they operated I felt fine again (it took three days to get to that point). They operated anyway and took the appendix out. I haven't had a problem since. I've gained thiry pounds. Good riddance chronic appendicitis.
    Your poem is OK, but I have to say that I found the 10 page Kafka story to be a better medium for the subject than a poem.
    | Posted on 2004-05-08 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked it very much. interesting. just some little suggestions: I would leave out the 'for years' after 'this suicide art'. this makes a break and I think it fits in well. and I would bring in a 'just' in the last line. 'And these rehearsals are just a steady job.' reads better for me.
    that's just me. you can follow these suggestions or not. it's good as it is. sorry for being so critical today.
    | Posted on 2004-05-08 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      This intrigues me, makes me want to pursue this concept. Suicide art, I like. But isn't that all that life really is, a million calculated preparations and scoffs at death. We all live the lie, and that is our unique beauty. The only thing that seemed a little off was the mention of the actual amount of time that she has done this. It is too cut and dry. The real thing that you must consider is the reader who doesn't have that description in front of them. I think it would be better to be just a tad more oblique. Make it to where it conforms to more than just your actual muse. Convey the muse in a way that it becomes the reader's own. That is all I can say. I like it alot. Made me think.
    | Posted on 2004-05-08 00:00:00 | by KrimsonReaper | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a twisted, but interesting piece.
    After "strategic moment" I think it should be which instead of that. I think you could rename the piece, unless you put musical references in it. Very original, I think it needs something, but I don't know what.
    | Posted on 2004-05-08 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]
      You like different personlaities (about Sylvia I guess - my FAV poem) - and you still write the thing. Very vivid. you caught the sense of such art:

    'But she pulls back at the strategic moment
    Which only disappoints the spectators
    Leaves them wanting more'

    Well thought and worth reading, as always. with all my love.
    | Posted on 2004-05-09 00:00:00 | by Nightraven | [ Reply to This ]
      gosh this is pretty hardcore... i dont think its my chosen art form to perform or watch but to each their own i guess.
    | Posted on 2004-05-12 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      lisp athide--this is such an odd, off the wall subject,--trust you to find it, and capture so succinctly that human element which dissapoints while granting a perfunctory sigh of relief and applause. Should she bungle and leave abruptly for parts unknown, there would be no applause, but perversely, more satisfaction--why is that? More Bang for the Buck? The last signed copy of a limited edition? A story for the campfire?? We humans are an odd lot, and poets revel in that,--as you have. Well done Amy. Silver
    | Posted on 2004-05-15 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      I meant to preface the lisp "athide" like so
    (like tho?)
    "A Death Rehearsal", lisp athide--is such an odd---

    | Posted on 2004-05-15 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Push written by JanePlane
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    To written by SavedDragon
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Linger written by saartha
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Incubus written by monad
    Wavelength written by saartha
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]